Funny Quotes, Events, and Stories 2: Obligatory Boogaloo

Pun Pun chimpers sadly to himself as he contemplates his meaningless life.
Roy Wyatt says, "Wait"
Pun Pun bends down and picks up the shotgun.
Roy Wyatt says, "No!"
Roy Wyatt says, "Put that down!"
Pun Pun looks at Roy with brown, morose eyes and places the barrel in his mouth.
Roy Wyatt says, "Noooooooooooooo!"
Pun Pun fires the double-barreled shotgun point blank at Pun Pun!
Bar was hit by the welding tool.
Bar was hit by the welding tool.
Bar was hit by the welding tool.
Roy Wyatt says, "Pun Pun?"
Pun Pun sticks their gun in their mouth, ready to pull the trigger...
*click click*
Pun Pun looks sad. He can't even kill himself.
Pun Pun thinks he's totally worthless.
*click click*
Roy Wyatt has disarmed Pun Pun!
Roy Wyatt has disarmed Pun Pun!
Roy Wyatt has disarmed Pun Pun!
Commander Clucky croons, "Cluck!"
Roy Wyatt says, "Pun Pun..."
Pun Pun plops onto the table and begins digging through his pockets.
Betsy moos hauntingly, "MOOOOOO"
Commander Clucky croons, "Cluck!"
Roy Wyatt talks into the engineering radio headset
Roy Wyatt says, "Pun Pun just tried to kill himself..."
Pun Pun locates what he's looking for.
Roy Wyatt talks into the engineering radio headset
Roy Wyatt says, "Come to the diner."
Pun Pun picks up the single shell and loads it into his weapon.
Pun Pun affixes Roy with one last stare as he once again places the gun in his mouth.
Pun Pun sticks their gun in their mouth, ready to pull the trigger...
Roy Wyatt says, "Wait!"
Pun Pun pulls the trigger.
The Pun Pun lets out a faint chimper as it collapses and stops moving...
Roy Wyatt says, "Noooooo!"
Roy Wyatt puts the wrench into the tool-belt.
Pun Pun's wounds open more from being dragged!
Pun Pun's wounds open more from being dragged!
Roy Wyatt says, "Help!"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "Stop!"
Roy Wyatt says, "He killed himself!"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "What'd you do to him?!"
Roy Wyatt says, "It wasn't me!"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "You had the shotgun in your hands!"
Lysanuh Dilgan points to the double-barreled shotgun
Roy Wyatt says, "I took it after he pulled the trigger!"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "You expect me to believe that a monkey picked up a shotgun?!"
Roy Wyatt says, "I swear is the truth!"
Roy Wyatt says, "I was sitting there"
Lysanuh Dilgan frowns and puts his hands on his waist
Roy Wyatt says, "And then Pun Pun went inside the back room"
Roy Wyatt says, "He grabbed the shotgun, I tried to stop him by breaking down the table."
Roy Wyatt says, "He failed, then he went to the kitchen."
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "How did Punpun go into the back room when he doesn't have access"
Roy Wyatt says, "He climbed through the table."
Roy Wyatt says, "Same here!"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "There is no backroom table where the shotgun would be."
Lysanuh Dilgan points to Bar Backroom
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "That's where the shotgun is."
Roy Wyatt says, "Wait..."
Roy Wyatt says, "There must be two then!"
Lysanuh Dilgan starts reaching for cuffs "You sure that's the story you want to go with?"
Roy Wyatt says, "I..."
Roy Wyatt says, "I SWEAR!"
Roy Wyatt says, "I know it's hard to believe but, it happened!"
Roy Wyatt says, "I'm as perplexed as you are!"
Roy Wyatt says, "I haven't broken into the backroom"
Roy Wyatt says, "He grabbed a shotgun from here."
Roy Wyatt says, "Somewhere in there"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "You're story isn't really adding up. You're saying Pun pun picked up a shotgun, fired two shots there. Then walked to the kitchen and shot him, and I only came out as you had him and the shotgun in hand?"
Roy Wyatt says, "Yes!"
Roy Wyatt says, "He failed the first time."
Roy Wyatt says, "I think he missed"
Roy Wyatt says, "He grabbed something out of his pocket and loaded it into the shotgun, and boom!"
Lysanuh Dilgan raises his eyebrow "Missed at point blank?"
Roy Wyatt says, "Don't ask me how or why!"
Lysanuh Dilgan folds his arms and sighs "This is a tough one."
Roy Wyatt puts his hands together, "I swear it to you officer, on my mother's grave."
Lysanuh Dilgan scratches his chin "Alright, we're going to take the weapon away. And i'll take your statement and write it up in an incdent report. You're free for now, but if we call you to the brig to make another statement come."
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "Wait"
Lysanuh Dilgan says, "I need that shell"
Lysanuh Dilgan puts the beanbag shell into the leather satchel.
Lysanuh Dilgan has grabbed Pun Pun passively!

Alice Cassidy [145.9] says, "And he ran."
Alice Cassidy [145.9] says, "Like a little fucking bitch."
Johnny Russell [145.9] says, "I'm at the other entrance."
Steven Macnaughton [145.9] says, "Starboard entrance, NOW>"
Steven Macnaughton says, "Starboard entrance, NOW>"
(R)LOOC: Kerbal22: ..SECOND TIME.
Johnny Russell says, "I'm already there."
Steven Macnaughton says, "Stand to fucking attention. Eyes front and fucking center."
Johnny Russell sighs.
LOOC: VoltageHero: Sam I swur.
LOOC: VoltageHero: I'll wrek u.
LOOC: VoltageHero: IRl.
Alice Cassidy drops her hands to her side, snapping to attention.
Johnny Russell is already at attention, like a boss.
LOOC: VoltageHero: I'll wrek u so hurd.
Steven Macnaughton says, "Right, whatever fucking problem you guys have fucking sort it out before I put a fucking metal rod through your ears and ride you around this bridge like a fucking motorcycle."
Steven Macnaughton says, "Am i fucking understood."
Johnny Russell says, "Yes..."
Steven Macnaughton says, "If I hear of any more issues this will go further than a proper bollocking."
Alice Cassidy moves a hand to her belt, pulling a wrench from it and lobbing it at Johnny.
Alice Cassidy has thrown the wrench.
Johnny Russell has been hit by the wrench.
Alice Cassidy yells, "Fucker!"
Johnny Russell blinks.
Johnny Russell says, "You're under arrest."
Johnny Russell is trying to put some handcuffs on Alice Cassidy
Steven Macnaughton says, "You want to insult each other? Do it here, now, and get it out of your fucking systems."
Alice Cassidy shouts, "Fuck you!"

I wondered how that worked.

Leo Wyatt rolls 67 out of 100!
Leonin Smythe is STILL better.
Leo Wyatt is sexier in the showers.
Leonin Smythe rolls 90 out of 100!
Leo Wyatt sighs.
Leonin Smythe IS THE SEXIEST IN THE SHOWERS

I was a maintenance drone, I took a janitor on an adventure and killed him. Traitor drones are best drones.