Post by subdigital on Feb 26, 2014 2:02:38 GMT
Right. So you must have seen the title so let me just jump right into this.
To those that known me you must have seen that my activity in the past few weeks has been...well lacking. Part of this is due to my Real Life commitments, such as my play, sports, school, and friends. Some other parts of this is simply just that I havent been able to really play SS13 anymore, I'm not finding it fun, my characters are loosing there life, I cant come up with any real new scenario for them and its just feeling very boring right now. This has been going on for a few weeks but I was kinda on the fence till last friday.
Last week my acting class went on a field trip to a certain school. This was a school SPECIFICALLY designed for children with special needs. It's a elementary school, middle, and high school all rolled into one. They had cerebral palsy, autism, paralyzed you name it. All of these kids cannot walk and will never walk. Since it was for acting we preformed our scenes and children s theature pieces, did a few songs from the musical and all that. The kids loved it.
Before the trip I was saying to myself "I work with old people who cant walk, this isnt going to make me feel anything." and at first it didn't. I mean I felt bad but I didn't REALLY feel anything. After we did the first part of our preformence we went out for lunch and came back in an hour. When we got back we played some games with them. Every student was partnered up with a buddy. The kid I had was 19 years old who was paralyzed from the waist down. He could talk, look around, move his chair but couldn't walk. He was most likely one of the more mobile kids there. A friend of mine, she had a girl that could only look up or down. If she looked up it meant yes, she looked down it was no. This girl had no other way to communicate. Please! Imagine that for a second you CANNOT use your legs, you CANNOT use your arms, you CANNOT talk. I dont know about you but not being able to do all those things would kill me.
Now I guess you can assume that me and this kid I was with began to form a bond. If you think thats were this is going your sorta right. At first I was awkward talking to him, I said my name, asked him how he was (yeah I feel like a dick saying that now) and was just generaly nervious. I never talked to someone like that before and frankly it scared me. Then I asked him what his favorite kind of music was. He answered and I asked his favorite band. Guess what, same one as mine. For the next few minutes we just talked about music and I honestly forgot that this kid had a disability. I wont tell you the rest of the details but it was most likely one of the most moving moments of my entire life. When we had to leave I was nearly crying. I just cannot express to any of you the kind of feeling that something like that has on you.
As I continue looking back on this I learn more and more from it. About myself. About life. And frankly what I am doing with mine. Here I am, a 17 year old with perfectly good legs and feet who quit two sports because I was too lazy. Letting important shit in my life slide because I don't feel like dealing with it. And playing a computer game more than I am doing other stuff. Now this isnt saying I dont like you guys. PLEASE I love each and everyone of you. (not Sphere but he lives down the street from me so thats different.) But I just don't feel any need to go and do this anymore.
I'm stepping down as head admin. Its all yours Chris.
Now were am I going you may ask? Well. I may still play on the server, I may not. I may go and just lurk on the forums, I may not. I got so much stuff coming up that I may just get up and leave. I'm always going to be around and will most likely come back at some point. For the immediate moment I think I am going to still play a little here and there. But again...I dont know.
Thats all. Thanks for listening/reading.
PS: Yeah the grammar sucks. I didnt put commas in the right places, and all that but you know what deal with it.
To those that known me you must have seen that my activity in the past few weeks has been...well lacking. Part of this is due to my Real Life commitments, such as my play, sports, school, and friends. Some other parts of this is simply just that I havent been able to really play SS13 anymore, I'm not finding it fun, my characters are loosing there life, I cant come up with any real new scenario for them and its just feeling very boring right now. This has been going on for a few weeks but I was kinda on the fence till last friday.
Last week my acting class went on a field trip to a certain school. This was a school SPECIFICALLY designed for children with special needs. It's a elementary school, middle, and high school all rolled into one. They had cerebral palsy, autism, paralyzed you name it. All of these kids cannot walk and will never walk. Since it was for acting we preformed our scenes and children s theature pieces, did a few songs from the musical and all that. The kids loved it.
Before the trip I was saying to myself "I work with old people who cant walk, this isnt going to make me feel anything." and at first it didn't. I mean I felt bad but I didn't REALLY feel anything. After we did the first part of our preformence we went out for lunch and came back in an hour. When we got back we played some games with them. Every student was partnered up with a buddy. The kid I had was 19 years old who was paralyzed from the waist down. He could talk, look around, move his chair but couldn't walk. He was most likely one of the more mobile kids there. A friend of mine, she had a girl that could only look up or down. If she looked up it meant yes, she looked down it was no. This girl had no other way to communicate. Please! Imagine that for a second you CANNOT use your legs, you CANNOT use your arms, you CANNOT talk. I dont know about you but not being able to do all those things would kill me.
Now I guess you can assume that me and this kid I was with began to form a bond. If you think thats were this is going your sorta right. At first I was awkward talking to him, I said my name, asked him how he was (yeah I feel like a dick saying that now) and was just generaly nervious. I never talked to someone like that before and frankly it scared me. Then I asked him what his favorite kind of music was. He answered and I asked his favorite band. Guess what, same one as mine. For the next few minutes we just talked about music and I honestly forgot that this kid had a disability. I wont tell you the rest of the details but it was most likely one of the most moving moments of my entire life. When we had to leave I was nearly crying. I just cannot express to any of you the kind of feeling that something like that has on you.
As I continue looking back on this I learn more and more from it. About myself. About life. And frankly what I am doing with mine. Here I am, a 17 year old with perfectly good legs and feet who quit two sports because I was too lazy. Letting important shit in my life slide because I don't feel like dealing with it. And playing a computer game more than I am doing other stuff. Now this isnt saying I dont like you guys. PLEASE I love each and everyone of you. (not Sphere but he lives down the street from me so thats different.) But I just don't feel any need to go and do this anymore.
I'm stepping down as head admin. Its all yours Chris.
Now were am I going you may ask? Well. I may still play on the server, I may not. I may go and just lurk on the forums, I may not. I got so much stuff coming up that I may just get up and leave. I'm always going to be around and will most likely come back at some point. For the immediate moment I think I am going to still play a little here and there. But again...I dont know.
Thats all. Thanks for listening/reading.
PS: Yeah the grammar sucks. I didnt put commas in the right places, and all that but you know what deal with it.
