He who dares not grasp the Thorn should never crave the Rose
Jan 9, 2014 13:53:20 GMT
kholdstare34 likes this
Post by nebulaflare on Jan 9, 2014 13:53:20 GMT
Foreword: I am in no way attempting to advertise another server. This is Rose’s story, and it ties in with her presence on Aurora, explaining why she’s popping in as Roxi Wallace.
The room was dimly lit. Monitors and machines hummed softly, processing data and quietly printing out pages of reports. The window’s curtains were pulled back, opened to the churning black chasm of the endless universe, dotted by a few twinkling stars. At the center of the room was a desk, with folders neatly stacked next to the desk lamp. Each folder was labeled, detailing the case files they contained. An empty ashtray was pushed to the corner of the desk, along with an untouched lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Courtesy items that would never be used.
Rose Watson sighed. She leaned back in the officer chair, propping her feet up on the desk. The black jackboot’s polish glanced off the light of the lamp. Her clean, dark blue, pressed uniform was by now a tad wrinkled. Her hair was usually tied back in a tight ponytail, but a few loose strands had escaped the elastic band, tucked behind her ears, and security eyepiece. It whirred and clicked slightly, searching for faces to analyze. Rose took off the eyewear and set it on the table next to her security beret. She sighed.
In one hand she held a cup of steaming hot coffee. With the other, she reached over for a small black recorder. She paused a moment, before flicking it on.
The device whirred. She hesitated a few moments, collecting her thoughts, before shutting her eyes and started to speak. "…My name is Rose Watson. Age twenty six. I’m assigned for active duty aboard Eureka Nine, employed either as forensic technician, or active peacekeeper."
She paused. “I am also an ex-Nanotransen agent, who is currently in hiding.”
“I was…selected by Nanotransen officials to participate in a specialized program. I was given military training, close combat and firearm, forensic work, infiltration, espionage, assassination…” she sighed. “As well as subjected to experimental loyalty implants.
"I was blackmailed by Nanotransen into agreeing to the experiments. I caught their attention because I seemed to have...shown a slight resistance to hacked implants. The scientists theorized I had a…special coping mechanism when I was faced in a situation where most people would have cracked.
She took a deep breath. “I had suffered through drug addiction, but I somehow still managed to run a criminal gang back in New London. In Nanotransen, I was rigorously trained for promotion to Head of Security. The implants…did not bother me as much as my fellow officers. Most people struggled with the subtle impulses to pledge undying loyalty to Nanotransen, but I…was fine. I adjusted faster than other trainees, and the scientists wanted to find out why…"
"The reason…it is because I do have a coping mechanism. This…alternate persona...sometimes I don’t even realize I revert to. I…pull back into my past, calling out the person I used to be back in New London. I was a ruthless, prideful, no-nonsense, headstrong, determined and cheating, backstabbing criminal. I was Rosie Thorns."
She gripped the recorder slightly. “Thorns was cold. She did what she wanted and got what she needed. She took risks, but could be as calculating and manipulative as needed to survive on the streets. I…would be lying if I did not admit feeling guilt or remorse, for the things I have done. But back then, I just thought that this was how the universe worked. This was the only way to survive. The only way to live. There was nothing else. You just had to buckle down and get through. If you did not, you would die.
Rose hung her head slightly. The next words caught in her throat, but she managed to continue. “This is what NT was interested in. My coping mechanism. They brought back my drug addiction with the implants…trying to turn me back into Rosie Thorns. They wanted an agent without regret, who can do anything to get the task done. They wanted an agent who could pledge loyalty to Nanotransen, and sent to other implant-happy corporations. Someone who would have a fighting chance against conflicting loyalties. Someone who could flick on a switch and plow through like nothing happened.”
“…Human brain doesn’t work like that. No amount of testing, training, or experiments can make me do that. I don’t care how many psychologists will pour over my files every given second. I’m only human. I’m not a machine. I…cracked.”
Rose slowly closed her eyes. "Nanotransen split me into two. I've had to go through therapy and medication, just to get myself under control. If I thought my security records were long, my medical records are even longer."
"The scientists thought I turned to this persona because of the stress. But…I know the reason. I resort to Thorns…because I’m scared."
“I'm scared I won't survive. I was afraid of death. Afraid of failing. Fear was what drove me. Not loyalty, not greed, not pride or honor. Nanotransen might not have intended it, but they used fear to keep me in line…”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. “A long time ago, I met someone. A vox. Nanotransen has a ‘shoot-on-sight’ policy for a fleet of Vox, but this was just a group of five. That didn’t change much…He illegally came on the station, and security was ordered to hunt them all down, and turn them over to NT."
“The first three were easy enough to hunt down. They were quickly subdued and implanted. But they were …ridiculed. The crew mocked them, humiliated them, and treated them with less respect than animals. They justified their actions with the knowledge that Vox were cheating liars. The implants forced the Vox to follow orders from the heads. They were cuffed, beaten during interrogations, then dragged off to research to be studied.”
"I discovered one of the Vox hiding in the maintenance tunnels. When I found him, he begged me mercy. I was briefed not to trust Vox, but the look in his eyes… he was terrified. After seeing how the other Vox were treated, I couldn’t turn him in. So I disobeyed orders and hid him."
“I hid him in a storage room. I still couldn’t trust him, so I had to keep him cuffed. But we talked. He told me stories of his ‘arkship’. His friends and family. His crewmembers were his closest companions, and they had travelled in that little skipjack. He asked me about my family, and when I told him I had none, there was a sense of pity in his tone.
Rose pulled out a small clay medallion from under her collar, holding it up in the light. The alien writings etched in the clay encircled a strange symbol in the center. “I have no idea if he was only trying to manipulate my feelings for his own freedom, but who could blame him? He was on a formidable station with strange people. His closest companions had been captured and stuffed behind observation rooms, poked and pricked with needles.”
“He kept begging me to let him go. He told me he did not want to die as a lab experiment. He would rather die than live in shame. If I couldn’t let him go, he begged me to take his corpse and shove it out into space, where he could find rest.”
"…No one deserves to be forced against their will. I desperately wanted to help him, but if anyone found out I was hiding him, I would be in a load of trouble. I ended up not needing to choose…he fell ill. Died soon after."
“They eventually found me. Needless to say, they were…pissed…that I hid him. They ordered me to take the body and have him borged, but I – I couldn’t do it. I grabbed the rollerbed his body was being carried on, and ran as bloody fast as I could.
“There was one more Vox left. He demanded his comrades to be freed, or he would destroy the station and kill everyone. The crew said they attacked a miner and killed him. The Vox said the miner attacked first. I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. The vox had been abused and tormented. No one deserves that, no matter what species they are. I tried to talk to the last remaining Vox, telling him one of his kin had died. His screams of anguish…they were so loud. And then…they were cut off as someone finally found him, and gunned him down.”
“The Head of Security at that time was yelling at me. I might have lost everything I worked up for, but I didn’t care. In the brief time I knew this Vox, he had more meaning in his life, than I ever did. At the very least, I wanted to honor his final request. I bolted myself into the chapel, and as gently as I could, I laid him into a coffin. Then I loaded the coffin into the mass driver, and sent him to his final resting place among the stars.”
She clutched the medallion in her fist. “This amulet is all I have left to remind me of that shift. I realize now what it was that I’ve always wanted. I wanted to stop running. I was tired of running. Tired of being afraid. I was tired of being sneaky and underhanded, just so I could live another day. What I wanted...was to become someone who could hold their head proudly, and do what was right."
"I tried to become things I wasn’t. I tried to be a gang leader. I tried to be a spy. I tried to be the perfect officer. But those weren’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to die, and end up forgotten. I didn’t want my story to turn into a case file tucked in the back of some dusty cabinet and forgotten by everyone."
I don't want people to remember me as Rosie Thorns, the mental enigma spawned from drug addiction and implant testing. I want people to see me as Rose Watson - someone who saw something wrong, and tried to do something to make it right."
"I’m not Agent Thorns, the woman who survived a syndicate integration, from hacked implant to brainwashed nuclear agent. I’m not some legacy who gunned down terrorists without any thought or consideration. I’m not someone who can shrug off every last trace of my humanity to do what a higher-up ordered. I – I just want to be someone who can be relied on to keep innocent people safe."
"And I don't want...to be scared anymore. Scared of big companies. Scared of myself. Scared of failing. Scared of death.
Rose nodded softly. "The day I die, I want it to be because I faced it head on. Not because I ran out of options to run away. When I die, I want it to be for a just cause. Not because I was protecting someone’s paycheck. I am more than a disposable agent.”
"My father - damn, didn't even know I had a father - sacrificed his life to give me another chance. He saved me from my execution.” Rose sighed. “’Live free, and make me proud,’ he said. Well old man, if you can hear me, I'm free now. I hope I can make you proud. I wish I knew you longer than the five minutes I met you."
Rose leaned back in the officer chair, thumbing the recorder. “I’m glad there are still people out there who have more faith in me, than I had with myself. I’m glad there are people who I can trust. Friends to give me strength, and forgive me when I cannot.
"And I'm glad...they didn't give up on me yet."
Rose quietly clicked the recorder off. She reached over to one of the folders on the desk, flipping it open. At the very top was a Nanotransen application. Roxi Wallace, age 24. Highschool drop out, with no further educational background. Janitor or assistant. Fake IDs, fake birth certificates, fake records…everything properly set.
“Nanotransen,” She nodded. “It’s time you pay for your crimes...every Rose has its Thorns...and you're going to be feeling this one.”
The room was dimly lit. Monitors and machines hummed softly, processing data and quietly printing out pages of reports. The window’s curtains were pulled back, opened to the churning black chasm of the endless universe, dotted by a few twinkling stars. At the center of the room was a desk, with folders neatly stacked next to the desk lamp. Each folder was labeled, detailing the case files they contained. An empty ashtray was pushed to the corner of the desk, along with an untouched lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Courtesy items that would never be used.
Rose Watson sighed. She leaned back in the officer chair, propping her feet up on the desk. The black jackboot’s polish glanced off the light of the lamp. Her clean, dark blue, pressed uniform was by now a tad wrinkled. Her hair was usually tied back in a tight ponytail, but a few loose strands had escaped the elastic band, tucked behind her ears, and security eyepiece. It whirred and clicked slightly, searching for faces to analyze. Rose took off the eyewear and set it on the table next to her security beret. She sighed.
In one hand she held a cup of steaming hot coffee. With the other, she reached over for a small black recorder. She paused a moment, before flicking it on.
The device whirred. She hesitated a few moments, collecting her thoughts, before shutting her eyes and started to speak. "…My name is Rose Watson. Age twenty six. I’m assigned for active duty aboard Eureka Nine, employed either as forensic technician, or active peacekeeper."
She paused. “I am also an ex-Nanotransen agent, who is currently in hiding.”
“I was…selected by Nanotransen officials to participate in a specialized program. I was given military training, close combat and firearm, forensic work, infiltration, espionage, assassination…” she sighed. “As well as subjected to experimental loyalty implants.
"I was blackmailed by Nanotransen into agreeing to the experiments. I caught their attention because I seemed to have...shown a slight resistance to hacked implants. The scientists theorized I had a…special coping mechanism when I was faced in a situation where most people would have cracked.
She took a deep breath. “I had suffered through drug addiction, but I somehow still managed to run a criminal gang back in New London. In Nanotransen, I was rigorously trained for promotion to Head of Security. The implants…did not bother me as much as my fellow officers. Most people struggled with the subtle impulses to pledge undying loyalty to Nanotransen, but I…was fine. I adjusted faster than other trainees, and the scientists wanted to find out why…"
"The reason…it is because I do have a coping mechanism. This…alternate persona...sometimes I don’t even realize I revert to. I…pull back into my past, calling out the person I used to be back in New London. I was a ruthless, prideful, no-nonsense, headstrong, determined and cheating, backstabbing criminal. I was Rosie Thorns."
She gripped the recorder slightly. “Thorns was cold. She did what she wanted and got what she needed. She took risks, but could be as calculating and manipulative as needed to survive on the streets. I…would be lying if I did not admit feeling guilt or remorse, for the things I have done. But back then, I just thought that this was how the universe worked. This was the only way to survive. The only way to live. There was nothing else. You just had to buckle down and get through. If you did not, you would die.
Rose hung her head slightly. The next words caught in her throat, but she managed to continue. “This is what NT was interested in. My coping mechanism. They brought back my drug addiction with the implants…trying to turn me back into Rosie Thorns. They wanted an agent without regret, who can do anything to get the task done. They wanted an agent who could pledge loyalty to Nanotransen, and sent to other implant-happy corporations. Someone who would have a fighting chance against conflicting loyalties. Someone who could flick on a switch and plow through like nothing happened.”
“…Human brain doesn’t work like that. No amount of testing, training, or experiments can make me do that. I don’t care how many psychologists will pour over my files every given second. I’m only human. I’m not a machine. I…cracked.”
Rose slowly closed her eyes. "Nanotransen split me into two. I've had to go through therapy and medication, just to get myself under control. If I thought my security records were long, my medical records are even longer."
"The scientists thought I turned to this persona because of the stress. But…I know the reason. I resort to Thorns…because I’m scared."
“I'm scared I won't survive. I was afraid of death. Afraid of failing. Fear was what drove me. Not loyalty, not greed, not pride or honor. Nanotransen might not have intended it, but they used fear to keep me in line…”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. “A long time ago, I met someone. A vox. Nanotransen has a ‘shoot-on-sight’ policy for a fleet of Vox, but this was just a group of five. That didn’t change much…He illegally came on the station, and security was ordered to hunt them all down, and turn them over to NT."
“The first three were easy enough to hunt down. They were quickly subdued and implanted. But they were …ridiculed. The crew mocked them, humiliated them, and treated them with less respect than animals. They justified their actions with the knowledge that Vox were cheating liars. The implants forced the Vox to follow orders from the heads. They were cuffed, beaten during interrogations, then dragged off to research to be studied.”
"I discovered one of the Vox hiding in the maintenance tunnels. When I found him, he begged me mercy. I was briefed not to trust Vox, but the look in his eyes… he was terrified. After seeing how the other Vox were treated, I couldn’t turn him in. So I disobeyed orders and hid him."
“I hid him in a storage room. I still couldn’t trust him, so I had to keep him cuffed. But we talked. He told me stories of his ‘arkship’. His friends and family. His crewmembers were his closest companions, and they had travelled in that little skipjack. He asked me about my family, and when I told him I had none, there was a sense of pity in his tone.
Rose pulled out a small clay medallion from under her collar, holding it up in the light. The alien writings etched in the clay encircled a strange symbol in the center. “I have no idea if he was only trying to manipulate my feelings for his own freedom, but who could blame him? He was on a formidable station with strange people. His closest companions had been captured and stuffed behind observation rooms, poked and pricked with needles.”
“He kept begging me to let him go. He told me he did not want to die as a lab experiment. He would rather die than live in shame. If I couldn’t let him go, he begged me to take his corpse and shove it out into space, where he could find rest.”
"…No one deserves to be forced against their will. I desperately wanted to help him, but if anyone found out I was hiding him, I would be in a load of trouble. I ended up not needing to choose…he fell ill. Died soon after."
“They eventually found me. Needless to say, they were…pissed…that I hid him. They ordered me to take the body and have him borged, but I – I couldn’t do it. I grabbed the rollerbed his body was being carried on, and ran as bloody fast as I could.
“There was one more Vox left. He demanded his comrades to be freed, or he would destroy the station and kill everyone. The crew said they attacked a miner and killed him. The Vox said the miner attacked first. I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. The vox had been abused and tormented. No one deserves that, no matter what species they are. I tried to talk to the last remaining Vox, telling him one of his kin had died. His screams of anguish…they were so loud. And then…they were cut off as someone finally found him, and gunned him down.”
“The Head of Security at that time was yelling at me. I might have lost everything I worked up for, but I didn’t care. In the brief time I knew this Vox, he had more meaning in his life, than I ever did. At the very least, I wanted to honor his final request. I bolted myself into the chapel, and as gently as I could, I laid him into a coffin. Then I loaded the coffin into the mass driver, and sent him to his final resting place among the stars.”
She clutched the medallion in her fist. “This amulet is all I have left to remind me of that shift. I realize now what it was that I’ve always wanted. I wanted to stop running. I was tired of running. Tired of being afraid. I was tired of being sneaky and underhanded, just so I could live another day. What I wanted...was to become someone who could hold their head proudly, and do what was right."
"I tried to become things I wasn’t. I tried to be a gang leader. I tried to be a spy. I tried to be the perfect officer. But those weren’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to die, and end up forgotten. I didn’t want my story to turn into a case file tucked in the back of some dusty cabinet and forgotten by everyone."
I don't want people to remember me as Rosie Thorns, the mental enigma spawned from drug addiction and implant testing. I want people to see me as Rose Watson - someone who saw something wrong, and tried to do something to make it right."
"I’m not Agent Thorns, the woman who survived a syndicate integration, from hacked implant to brainwashed nuclear agent. I’m not some legacy who gunned down terrorists without any thought or consideration. I’m not someone who can shrug off every last trace of my humanity to do what a higher-up ordered. I – I just want to be someone who can be relied on to keep innocent people safe."
"And I don't want...to be scared anymore. Scared of big companies. Scared of myself. Scared of failing. Scared of death.
Rose nodded softly. "The day I die, I want it to be because I faced it head on. Not because I ran out of options to run away. When I die, I want it to be for a just cause. Not because I was protecting someone’s paycheck. I am more than a disposable agent.”
"My father - damn, didn't even know I had a father - sacrificed his life to give me another chance. He saved me from my execution.” Rose sighed. “’Live free, and make me proud,’ he said. Well old man, if you can hear me, I'm free now. I hope I can make you proud. I wish I knew you longer than the five minutes I met you."
Rose leaned back in the officer chair, thumbing the recorder. “I’m glad there are still people out there who have more faith in me, than I had with myself. I’m glad there are people who I can trust. Friends to give me strength, and forgive me when I cannot.
"And I'm glad...they didn't give up on me yet."
Rose quietly clicked the recorder off. She reached over to one of the folders on the desk, flipping it open. At the very top was a Nanotransen application. Roxi Wallace, age 24. Highschool drop out, with no further educational background. Janitor or assistant. Fake IDs, fake birth certificates, fake records…everything properly set.
“Nanotransen,” She nodded. “It’s time you pay for your crimes...every Rose has its Thorns...and you're going to be feeling this one.”
