Morale Bot

Wot it says on the tin.
A bot (like a cleanbot, medibot, floorbot) that has the purpose of raising the morale of the crew of the station it should be deployed on. The bot would be constructed in robotics, using a robot head, torso and power cell. Its a stationary robotic invention that -when deployed- recites a bunch of saved phrases, compliments and stuff. Basically, utilizing Hive's compliment thread in Off Topic Discussions. With his permission.

Buuuuuuut, should it be emagged... Hehehe... That's when it gets entertaining.
When emagged. The moralebot will use insults and demoralising statements instead of the usual.

I posted a list of the insults comproised by myself (credit to the gnomes of Albion). Here we go:


I feel like celebrating today, because todays the day you die!

I was hoping you'd come round. I needed a good laugh!

I sensed your presence before you even arrived... What did you eat?!

My favourite things are music and sunshine and love!... And death.
You now what I like most about people?... They die.

Seeing you brings back memories... Of wanting my eyes gouged out!

I'm not like those mean robots. I'm a million times worse.

Haha! You're funny! But looks aren't everything!

It's a great day to be alive! And a better day to kill.
I like to think about puppies! About slowly slowly crushing them.

I can't decide whether I like your looks or your personality better. Its like comparing mud to sewage!

Come over here and die.

Those are nice shoes... But don't you think your gran's feet are cold without them?

You're the scariest thing I've seen since... Since that mouse that ran by ten minutes ago.

Sometimes I just want someone to talk to... And sometimes I just want someone to kick in the crotch!

I can help you find what you're looking for, step one: Pull your head out of your arse!

I think your baton might be bent, oh no wait! THATS YOU!

You seem like a nice person!... I kill nice people you know.

Oh, I didn't see you there... What's it like being so insignificant?

Sure is a beautiful day... Except where you're standing!

I'd like to come over to your place to have some tea. And then I'll have your mum!

You're the embodiment of pure ugly. Ask me if I give a toss!

Excuse me, do you have the time? To get stuffed!

I'd like to get to know someone like you... And drown them.

We could have been best friends... If I liked people with an arse for a face!

I've said it before and Ill say it again...I hate you.

That skin, not a lot of people could pull that off... I'd like to pull it off! Come Here!

You, uhh, look familiar... Oh, I remember. You look like this girlie I used to shag!!

Are you lost? Can I help you starve and die?
You stink you mongrel!

You remind me of an old friend. He was a twit... Just like YOU!

If I had a friend like you, I could tell them secrets... Like that I'm going to set you on fire.

If it were up to me nobody would get sick. They'd just die, starting with you!

Dogs are noble, loyal and faithful... Right tasty too!

The eyes are a window to the soul... So yours must be repulsive...

You... Uhh... Really have your mother's looks... Ewgh...

I once met a fellow like you. I killed him.

Why, what a big nose you have. Do you smell as bad to yourself as to everyone around you?

Work harder. You aren't being paid to sit around and be ugly.

Stop being a lazy arse. Just be a arse.

I love your hair. Can I drench it in welder fluid and light it?

Is that your natural skin colour? Or was MJ a role model for you?

Don't track crap in here! Oh wait. That's just your natural essence.

Biologicals. So fragile. Such short life spans. Pathetic.

I went to a zoo once. How'd you get out of your cage?

Did you know there's a planet where no one wages any wars? They must be dumb as you.

You know what I always say: "Show me a robot with half it's intelligence taken away, and I'll show you the equivalent of a smart human."

I once had a conversation with a statue. He displayed double the wits you are even capable of imagining yourself with.

Hello there! How's your day? Mine is horrible, now that you've arrived.

You make dying sound like such a relief.

If you are the spectacle of intelligence for your species... I say we need more mental rehabilitation facilities.

Bloody hell. You. Are. Ugly.

Hey. Look down. Tell me, can you see your feet?

If you were drifting in space I'm sure Nanotrasen would come around and claim you as a new planet.

I never thought I'd ever meet anyone more ugly than this one woman I met... Then I met her child: You.

If jumping into the void of space means being able to get you out of my sight, then HELLO STARS.

I once had a human tell me I was mean. He died.

Well, look at that one. Is this what they are filling the high tech research facilities with nowadays? They sure have lowered their standards.

Is that hair? Coming out of your ears?

Why don't you slip into something a bit more comfortable. Like a coma.

There are countless particles in this vast universe for us to observe... Somehow your mother found all the ugly ones and put them into you.

Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. Then I remember I still want to drown you in my own piss.

I don't know what gods you believe in. But if I were up there- I'd have given up in you long ago.

You ugly specimen, you.

I guess you could say you are fat enough to alter the gravitational force of a star.

Did you hear? Nanotrasen scientists have invented a new chemical that makes people attractive. I don't think there exists enough in this known universe to help you, though.

Well. You certainly are a beautiful person. On the inside, at least.

I hear your mom touched down on Biesel! Apparently the impact crater is as big as a country.

I'm sure there is enough space between your ears to host a singularity big enough to power a planet.

Those really are a good pair of muscles you have there. Too bad what we really need are some SMART people.

You give a new definition to the word "beauty"... I'm thinking along the lines of "so ugly it's deadly".

Oh my, what the heck is wrong with you? Is it contagious? Oh wait, genetics.

They say if you love someone, you should let them go. Does it count if you are dangling them over a cliff?

I saw a baby once. They look good on a silver platter, coated in gravy.

I sure am glad I can't feel pain. Because I'm sure seeing you would have been a lot worse my eyes.

Oh! I guess mammoths aren't extinct after all!

Stupid. Ugly. And fat. That's what you are.

I think we're low on dairy products. Hold still and I'll milk you.

Why did evolution grant you with a brain if you never use it?

Ugh. What a dreadfully disgusting place. And the locals match the scenery...