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Post by deatacita on Jul 3, 2014 8:25:03 GMT
Hi guys. I'm Dea if you don't know me, which I hope most of you will. I apologize in advance for this, it may offend some people, and it may seem childish. No offense is intended and I apologize so much if any is felt.
Many here in the community know that I'm a spriter, Mapper, Moderator and lore-dev. I do ALOT for Aurora, and for the most part (Until extremely recently) I've enjoyed it. But the promotions lately have left me disillusioned with SS-13 for the moment, This is probably sounding childish right about now, but I'll elaborate.
I am terminally ill, I (Likely) have less than Five short years left in my life. Thus, I think i should spend this time doing things that I enjoy, Which (Thus far) I have. I enjoy Spriting, I enjoy Mapping, I enjoy Moderating and I especially enjoy writing lore.
Spriting, I (Personally) find it difficult, I have tritanopia, also known as Blue-Yellow colorblindness. Which makes it pretty difficult at times to make shit look right, but regardless I spend some time spriting cool stuff that I think the community might enjoy. A handful of my icons have made it in, however the vast majority (Several hundred) have not, for whatever reasons. And I understand those reasons might be perfectly legitimate.
Moderating. Modesty aside, I'm a pretty good moderator, I've never been called otherwise by anyone, I've never been complained about, and I've never been rude and assholeish to people who ahelp or otherwise need my assistance. I've been playing SS-13 for...aslong as it's been around really, under a variety of ckeys. I have a great deal of experience, as most of my time in these years have been spent admining, moderating and otherwise guiding more than a dozen communities from (The first) Apollo Station, Athena Station, Minerva Station, Janus Station, Lotus Station, Sanctuary Station, Red Station and god knows how many more.
Lore Deving, This is the part I enjoy. Race lore and faction lore specifically are my favorites. This part I have no problem with really, not that big of a deal.
The people who were promoted (For the most part) In my eyes, deserve their promotions, they worked hard and they received adequate rewards for those efforts. However, I (This is where the childish stuff starts) feel like I've done more, I feel like I've put more into this community than most people have. I've shepherded in a new race that's (Hopefully) gonna be available soon, I've written tons of lore, mapped a new medbay, sprited a shitton of stuff and I've helped god knows how many of you. This isn't a complaint, this isn't a "Fuck you Aurora" post, this is simply me reconsidering the use of my time, which. I'm beginning to think has been misused, and as time isn't something I have a lot of, I'd rather not waste more. Simply, this is me thinking, "If you're gonna pick someone who's done less, why should I bother?"
I realize this might make some people look at me in a different manner, and I'm sorry about that. But, I say these words out of realism, not out of any sort of hate, malice or anger.
I'm taking at-least a week off. I'll be on the forums, but I highly doubt I'll be in-game.
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bluesp34r
Moderator 
Tsundere
Such a tsundere
Posts: 509 
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 8:30:33 GMT
Post by bluesp34r on Jul 3, 2014 8:30:33 GMT
See you around, Dea!
I'll be sad.
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Mr. Majestic
Developer 
Majestic is the name, majestic is the game.
Posts: 485
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 8:48:35 GMT
via mobile
Post by Mr. Majestic on Jul 3, 2014 8:48:35 GMT
Even though I know 0 about what the heck we are talking about this makes me hurt in my chest place. I think that's where the heart is supposed to be.
Dea has been a great friend to me regardless of my short time knowing her. I mean- random pm's in game sending me a funny link doesn't seem like much but it says something. Despite my certain difficulty in handling all her requests and even having to resort to asking her for help on occasions and all that kinda stuff.
Majestic gon miss you, Dea.
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 8:58:51 GMT
Post by VoltageHero on Jul 3, 2014 8:58:51 GMT
I was thinking about saying stuff like, "admins being picked happens for reasons", but fuck it. It's 5 AM.
Good luck, and stay safe.
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Post by Skull132 on Jul 3, 2014 15:12:09 GMT
Understand this:
The Development section is segregated from the Administration and Moderation section of staff by a plasteel wall. Contributions in one will in no way, shape or form factor over to the other. This is what me and YeahChris agreed upon, and this is how I will keep conducting myself, and business here. The reason for it is that the qualities required for either house are not interchangeable.
Development requires knowledge, used potential. It requires anything from creative writing to an artistic desire to an engineer's precision and ability to solve issues. The skills of a Developer are, generally, directly measured.
Administration and Moderation requires communication above all else, followed by active and rapid problem solving. The skills and potential of an Administrator or a Moderator are not directly measured.
As a result of this methodology, Administrators are promoted on selective grounds and terms. These change, and are not set in stone (never were). It is completely possible for potential to be missed once, twice, thrice, and so on. This has happened, just happened, and will keep happening in the future, due to the nature of the business in question.
Secondly, understand that Administrator is not a reward, not fully.
Gaining the status of Administrator will slate you with further duties, responsibilities. A reward, in the simplest most form, would be a pat on the back. Or a thank you. And I am eternally grateful for the amount of time you have put into this server, and this community, Dea.
I will never take work put in, and effort showcased, as granted. Such is my principal. However, I cannot offer something to someone, when everyone else has been denied the same privilege.
This applies to myself, as well. I am not an Administrator. I am not a Moderator. I enact as the situation requires, yes, but I would rather be rid of this necessity. And I am moving pieces to make this idea come to fruition. But that is not something for here.
In summary, I hope you understand my point of view. And through that, the team's point of view. Picking people for promotion is never an easy question.
I was tearing my hair out over the following factors: who, how many, why. All of these questions, plus the flow of potential candidates requires a decision to be made. I was presented with propositions, I affirmed and conducted. This is how it went this time.
The next time, you can make sure that it goes how you wish. I guarantee you this chance.
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 16:21:37 GMT
Post by deatacita on Jul 3, 2014 16:21:37 GMT
Understand this: The Development section is segregated from the Administration and Moderation section of staff by a plasteel wall. Contributions in one will in no way, shape or form factor over to the other. This is what me and YeahChris agreed upon, and this is how I will keep conducting myself, and business here. The reason for it is that the qualities required for either house are not interchangeable. Obviously, I should have detailed the 'moderation' section a little more Secondly, understand that Administrator is not a reward, not fully. Gaining the status of Administrator will slate you with further duties, responsibilities. A reward, in the simplest most form, would be a pat on the back. Or a thank you. And I am eternally grateful for the amount of time you have put into this server, and this community, Dea. This I understand, I always have understood. But frankly, to promote someone is to say that those people have done more, done better or have something that those were not promoted don't. And I don't meant to be asinine, but that's just -not- true in this case. As much as it makes me sound like I have no-life, for the last week or so. The only hours I've not been on SS-13 (Moderating, not developing) have been the hours I've been asleep, eating and an hour or two for another game. By all logical reasoning, I spend a disproportionate and unreasonable amount of time on this game, during which I've done what I'm supposed to do (And more) to the best of my abilities. Honestly. Even several of the people who were promoted have told me that -I- deserved a promotion and that they understood how I feel, as have a handful of players. I quite seriously feel that none of the points I've brought up are unreasonable, I haven't BSed you, I haven't lied. I really don't know what else to say, I think I got the point across. |
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 16:48:29 GMT
Post by Dalekfodder on Jul 3, 2014 16:48:29 GMT
This. Is really childish, even I feel disappointed now.
Das all I can say. All you did is you gave skull some stressful time... I can understand that you're under heavy stress but is it really necessary? Or worth it? I can't even tell myself.
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 16:53:46 GMT
Post by deatacita on Jul 3, 2014 16:53:46 GMT
This. Is really childish, even I feel disappointed now. Das all I can say. All you did is you gave skull some stressful time... I can understand that you're under heavy stress but is it really necessary? Or worth it? I can't even tell myself. I'm not really giving anyone a Stressful time, I'm vanishing for a week and possibly not coming back, I likely am. But I apologize if responding to forum messages stresses Skull out. It is necessary, or atleast it feels this way to me. Worth it? I'm just airing my feelings and taking a break to think about it. I don't see what -wouldn't- be "Worth it" about that |
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 18:30:40 GMT
Post by VoltageHero on Jul 3, 2014 18:30:40 GMT
Thanksies Skull. I didn't want to be the one to have to say something like this, because it would have taken so much time, but this is agreeable. |
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 18:49:29 GMT
Post by deatacita on Jul 3, 2014 18:49:29 GMT
Thanksies Skull. I didn't want to be the one to have to say something like this, because it would have taken so much time, but this is agreeable. I see his points, I really do. But from what people have told me, -every- moderator was good/great. So, it was completely arbitrary, I'd be perfectly fine if there was an actual reason for it, but there honestly doesn't seem to be. |
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Post by frances on Jul 3, 2014 19:04:55 GMT
I'm not going to address the adminship issue, as it's already been given enough focus in this thread as it is. Rather, I'd like to refocus on the other side of it, which is (I believe) the feeling you're expressing of not being given recognition by the community. (And I don't mean to shy away from that first issue. While it's not in my hands, I actually will support you in voicing any concerns you might have until all parties consider it resolved.)
I think that contributing to a community is a thankless job. The reward can be nice, sure, but you don't only do it for the reward. If the reward is the main thing that guides you, you're going to have an issue.
I draw a lot. When I began drawing, I was part of an amateur artist group, where a lot of people had just started picking up drawing. And one issue that a lot of people had is that they wanted to be good at drawing, but they didn't want to learn how to draw. I think there is a parallel here. The key in drawing isn't in working to improve; it's in working because you like working. The reward can be nice, but unless you draw for money, you'll get at most a few looks and compliments for a drawing you can spend up to 20+ hours on. And sure, these compliments do feel nice, when they get added up to the satisfaction you've had in working on a piece, and completing it. But if they constitute the only enjoyment you get out of the deal, the activity will feel utterly empty.
Contributing to a community works much in the same way. We've actually been lucky, in a way. We've both done mapping, art, you have done a lot of lore. All of these contributions are highly visible. I know I've gotten countless compliments on a piece of art I've wrapped up in less than two hours. On the flipside, the other side of our job, moderating, is really thankless. And I say this on a community which I believe has one of the best staff-playerbase rapport I've ever seen. People will actually show appreciation for what we do. But even then, for the few issues where we get to help people, there's many more where people will get upset at us, unfairly, or come to grief the server. And few people will say anything about that - and I frankly won't ask them to: it's simply expected that we take care of these issues, because it's what we do.
There are two things that are important to me: That I get to help deal with the server's issues, because that is something I genuinely enjoy, and that I get to spend some time having fun with the playerbase (and honestly, the rest of the staff). I hope you get to realize that these are also things that are offered to you. Even when people are ungrateful, and downright rude, I want you to know that there will always be a group on Aurora cheering for you, ready to play with you, have fun with you, and offering you their support.
And that's what really matters, here. That we can do what we do with our friends, and have a great time doing it. Everything else that happens, as a result, as a consequence, is honestly secondary.
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mrimatool
Lore Developer 
Your guy, Toolio <3
Posts: 703
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Post by mrimatool on Jul 3, 2014 19:26:23 GMT
I would like to point out that, Dea you do get recognition for your work.
And if we're talking about people not getting credit, I'd like to point out people who don't get enough credit on this server. Nightmare, Covert, Farcry and Gollee of course, they've worked their fucking asses off since day one, and I hardly see anyone give them thanks. And if we're talking about people who made major contributions and don't recieve enough thanks, I think I should bring up me, Sphere and Chaz. Granted Chaz is a modest person, but he hosted the server for MONTHS and started the server with Me and Sphere. Then there's Sphere, who held this server together through a lot of tough times and indeed created the server with me and Chaz. Then there's me, and while I do think it's silly to talk about all the things I've done. But other people seem to be doing it. So here we go, I coded and sprited for this server ALONE for MONTHS, handled Admin promotions and ran the server for quite a while pretty much, as well as being the third and final founder, I pretty much gave any and all spare time I had, to this server, and it ruined this game for me, I ended up quitting in the end because I could feel myself turning into the very thing that made us founders create Aurora.
Do you see how bad it sounds talking like this Dea? Also Pump has made great contributions as well. I just think, that anyone can complain about not getting recognition, but as I've learnt. It's pointless, be happy with what you get. Anyway this is just what I think, everyone is welcome to chime in.
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Post by Mewoykyinuis on Jul 3, 2014 19:51:38 GMT
Dea, here's what I think. If you love the community, developing, and moderating, why do you need the adminship? Why does /that/ draw the line at what you need? If you truly love everything you do, then why does that matter? You'd be doing it because you want to see the community grow, and evolve, not because you need a title or a position of power.
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gollee
Lore Master
I write things
Posts: 828
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Post by gollee on Jul 3, 2014 20:08:12 GMT
I have hardly been working my arse off, I like writing, I do it casually, though it was this server that got me from being obsessed with maths/ science and the like, to actually writing a book. As I have said on multiple threads, I will write pretty much anything if people ask me to, no favours, no want for rewards, I want to write to get better at it, that is the reward for me.
I understand where Dea is coming from, it can hurt to feel unappreciated, but you aren't, you are one of the best loved people here, you do a bit of just about everything, Dev work, Lore work, Moderating, you have a hand in pretty much everything, and I know people recognise and appreciate that.
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Post by Skull132 on Jul 3, 2014 20:15:07 GMT
When people tell you that you should have been promoted, then take it as praise. Let it carry you towards the actual promotion. Don't simply get stuck in the thought of, "God damn it, I was overlooked," but instead, look at it from the perspective of, "people approve of what I do, and how I do it, I should see if there's any way I can remedy this situation."
Also, yes, choosing admins was hard. Because all of our Administration and Moderation staff is damned good. But I have my reasons, and I can vouch for the decisions made. I can also say that it was not arbitrarily, and can disclose the reason why you, personally, were not selected this time around. However, I will not disclose such information about others, and the decisions made with regards to them.
Edit: Also, I understand completely where you're coming from, and have a bit of a similar experience to tell a tale about. If you feel like listening, hit me up on Skype at some point tomorrow.
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Hiatus
Jul 3, 2014 23:06:33 GMT
Post by deatacita on Jul 3, 2014 23:06:33 GMT
I would like to point out that, Dea you do get recognition for your work. And if we're talking about people not getting credit, I'd like to point out people who don't get enough credit on this server. Nightmare, Covert, Farcry and Gollee of course, they've worked their fucking asses off since day one, and I hardly see anyone give them thanks. And if we're talking about people who made major contributions and don't recieve enough thanks, I think I should bring up me, Sphere and Chaz. Granted Chaz is a modest person, but he hosted the server for MONTHS and started the server with Me and Sphere. Then there's Sphere, who held this server together through a lot of tough times and indeed created the server with me and Chaz. Then there's me, and while I do think it's silly to talk about all the things I've done. But other people seem to be doing it. So here we go, I coded and sprited for this server ALONE for MONTHS, handled Admin promotions and ran the server for quite a while pretty much, as well as being the third and final founder, I pretty much gave any and all spare time I had, to this server, and it ruined this game for me, I ended up quitting in the end because I could feel myself turning into the very thing that made us founders create Aurora. Do you see how bad it sounds talking like this Dea? Also Pump has made great contributions as well. I just think, that anyone can complain about not getting recognition, but as I've learnt. It's pointless, be happy with what you get. Anyway this is just what I think, everyone is welcome to chime in. I thank Nightmare and Covert all the time, I tell Gollee how great the lore he writes is, They work hard and their work is fan-fucking-tastic. I'd tell Farcry too, but I don't see him often enough. Sphere is my buddy and I love him dearly, and the -entire- server loves him dearly, because he and Chaz and pump and -everyone- that made this server possible are heroes to me, because -they- made our community possible, our friendships possible. I'm not trying to say that what I've done is more important than what they did, because if they hadn't done what they did, I wouldn't be able to do any of the things that I do. I'm simply saying that I've finally realized how little time I do have left, and that those things that I do matter more than anything that I've done before in my life. And I need to pick what I do carefully, because I don't have much time to do those things. I'm not trying to devalue what you, nor what anyone else in this community has done, that was not my intention and I'm extremely sorry that you've taken what I've said in this manner. I'm not cursing other people for getting promoted when I didn't, I'm not screaming about how "Aurora sucks so much", I'm not doing anything like that. I'm simply reevaluating my time and giving you all a reason why I'm doing so, because I DO know that some people in this community like me very much and appreciate -everything- I've done. And I realize that me just vanishing would be sucky to some. I may not have delivered the message I originally intended very well, but I'm trying now. |
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farcry11
Moderator
God Emperor of Pleb Kind
Strictly Platonic
Posts: 1,347
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Hiatus
Jul 4, 2014 9:05:09 GMT
via mobile
Post by farcry11 on Jul 4, 2014 9:05:09 GMT
Dea, we love you tons, and we feel for you, but like everyone's been saying, certain jobs can sometimes be thankless. Moderating is one of them. We aren't getting payed, we aren't really thought of much, and we spend a lot of our time dealing with jerkass griefers that call us autistic Nazi faggots.
But through the work that the team does, the community is made a better place. Even if you don't have the fancy red text or the ability to spawn shit , it doesn't mean you're any less important. What counts is that we all work hard, day in and day out, and keep the community moving.
In the past, I've been passed over plenty of times. Hell, it took me a while to even get instated to the staff, despite my dedication to the server. But when I was passed over, did I quit? No. I worked a little harder , put in a little more effort. Sure, I'm mildly bummed I didn't get an admin rank, but I'm sure as hell not dropping out, and neither should you.
Believe it or not, you're massively appreciated here, and your work is instrumental to the well being of the server. You've done great development work, you're a good moderator, and you developed an entire fucking race / that actually got integrated/, and everyone loves you for it because you're great.
tl;dr, don't quit because you're cool and people like you a lot
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Hiatus
Jul 4, 2014 10:18:11 GMT
via mobile
Post by PumpkingSlice on Jul 4, 2014 10:18:11 GMT
Allow me to place in some input. We are a community, correct? What is the sole energy that keeps a community running? Teamwork. Without it, a community crumbles. In a community, everyone must put in effort to keep it running. Rank, status, whatever is disregarded in a community. The staff are only designated people who are given selective tasks to accomplish. They are not a separate sect, not at all. The players themselves are expected to keep this community running, the staff are there to keep them standing. What I'm saying in short is, everyone, and I literally mean everyone, has to put in effort to keep a wheel spinning. Players and staff alike. Everyone matters. Everyone keeps things fresh by presenting new ideas. A successful community is one that is open to acceptance and experimentation. Open to try and accept failure. Without that, a community is just a programme on repeat.
I feel your side of the story and I apologise you feel that way. I personally feel everyone deserves a pat on their back for how far we've come and things we have achieved. Whatever decision you make, just note that it wont be the wrong one. In order to achieve something, sometimes you have to move on, for better or for worse. Things don't always work out, but success comes from tackling that problem when appropriate and solving it. Recognition is one thing, but silent dedication is where one truly shines. The only recognition one really needs is self-recognition. I hope you'll take the time in future go come visit the Aurora community again even if it's for 5 minutes to just say hi. There's a place for everyone here if they are willing to make an effort, and you certainly have.
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We all knew this is coming.
