Regulations of the employee handbook. Section 256

Just a list of stupid regulations and guidlines for employees with the assumption they have happened a some point. (Bonus points if you try to RP these. AKA selling the roid to the vox for everyone's credits.)

01] No deity may contradict any of my orders.
02] No deity is at the top of my chain of command.
03] No eldritch abomination may contradict any of my orders.
04] No eldritch abomination is at the top of my chain of command.
05] No members of command are an eldritch abomination in disguise.
06] I must attempt to not antagonize ERT.
07] I may not conduct psychological experiments on command staff.
08] I may not challenge anyone in command to a duel.
09] My past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
10] My past lives have absolutely no effect on my employment records.
11] I do not hold diplomatic immunity.
12] I am not the King/Queen/Emperor/Glorious Leader/President/Prime Minister of anything.
13] I shouldn’t take incriminating photos of command.
14] I shouldn’t create incriminating photos with image manipulating software of command.
15] I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
16] Command decisions do not need to be put to a vote by the crew.
17] When detained by security, I do not have a right to a strip search.
18] I am not allowed to have unarmed fights with dangerous creatures to fight them on an even playing field.
19] I must not valiantly push officers onto grenades to save others.
20] I am not allowed to join any militia.
21] I am not allowed to form any militia.
22] I am not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on company time.
23] I am not allowed to trade company equipment as novelty sex toys.
24] I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
25] I must not start any situation report with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”
26] On company documents, my species is not “Other”.
27] I am not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to any question asked of me.
28] The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”
29] “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by command.
30] The proper response to command is not “You can’t prove a thing!”
31] The proper response to a briefing is not “That’s what you think”.
32] I may not end any phrase with "At dawn" whilst in space.
33] I can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in.
34] I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
35] I am not allowed to train Ian to “Sic Command!”
36] I must not use mech to “Squish” sentient beings.
37] When operating a mech I may not attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.
38] I am not allowed to use any form of blade to disprove “The Pen is Mightier than the sword”.