Internalizing your problems, a guide to internal affairs

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you're wondering, "Why the hell is he talking to us?", well, I'll tell you why! I felt like everyone but me got to write a guide, and I was bored.


Good day Agent, We are Agent White Wall Etched In Black, and this is Agent Xanya Kilthorez, we would like to welcome you to the wonderful world of internal affairs. There are quite a few things you're going to need to do your job properly. Let's go through what's provided in your office!

Copier: A useful tool for copying paperwork that you'll need lots of. Be sure to keep an eye on the toner.


Legal closet: Contains plenty of different suits and other appropriate internal affairs outfits. Should probably have a different name.

Recorder: A very important part of your arsenal, allows you to record and file all your conversations, and to have proof of the ERP that you're spying on. Be sure to print transcripts and erase memory, so you don't end up with several conversations all mixed together.

Camera: Another important tool. It allows you take visual evidence of incompetence, and lets you keep the memory of that saucy, saucy ERP in your head for all eternity.

Pen and Paper: Your bread and butter. Use this to write CentComm reports, Complaint reports, Inspection reports, and most importantly: Report reports.

Fax machine: The most important machine in the office. Use it to pester CentComm. Only use in case of emergency, or extreme incompetence in head position. Lord it over others like gold, or money, or being particularly well endowed.

Folders and Drawer Cabinet: Label folders and use them for proper filing. The most important thing is proper filing.

Stamps: Use 'em for making it all official!


We know what you may be thinking, "But Agent White Wall, isn't our job just to waste everyone's time," well, the answer is no. Your job is to make sure everyone on the station is performing to their utmost, and that all staff follow SoP. There are many things you can do to keep this station intact.

Internal reports: When you write up a report to the relevant Head of Staff. You should use this most often, as CentComm is busy, and don't want to deal with every drunken doctor, and abusive officer. Write out a full report of what occurred, who was involved, the relevant head of staff, their division, and suggested action. Be sure to sign it at the bottom.

CentComm reports: These is the things you're gonna fax straight to Central Commands. Use these when relevant authorities are unavailable, during extreme emergencies, and when harsh disciplinary action is needed. Examples include: Head of security beats captain to death and assumes dictatorship of newly christened "Securitopia,", traitor actions have resulted in extreme damage to the station, and it is now impossible to escape, and even when things get too spooky, and all the lights go out.

Complaint reports: Use these to handle interdepartmental, and interpersonal disputes. These can be filled out by the complainants.

Investigating: When you have to write a report, the first thing you should do is investigate. This includes inspecting relevant work areas, performing interviews, and looking through miles of logs and paperwork. First thing you gotta do is find out what was done wrong. Ask around, look out for fuck ups. We prefer to use our PDA to record anything and everything important that needs to be remembered. Take pictures of any evidence if needed. Once you're ready, you can begin interviews. Interview anyone and everyone involved. Inform them of your intentions, then have them state their name for the record. Everything for the record. Remember, when conduction an interview, ask only what you need to ask, be polite, and don't let them get to you. Once interviews are complete, you have to compile it all together into a singular report. Make sure every bit of evidence you gathered is included.

Resolving disputes: Another one of your jobs. Invite those into your office, and hash it out there. Problems will vary, and most of the time, they'll ignore you, but your job is your job. Most important part is staying impartial.

Advising heads of staff: The final facet of your job as an internal affairs agent. You are going to be giving your best advise to the people in charge. Most of the time, they'll ignore it, and disrespect you. That's simply how it is.

• People are going to dislike you for doing your job. You have to be the person that gets people fired. Don't let it get to you.
• You owe your loyalty to Nanotrasen and the Captain. No one else.
• On the flipside, you cannot give orders, as you have no true authority without backing from Nanotrasen.
• Welcome to the NSS Aurora, agent.

Fax format: auroraserver.freeforums.net/thread/821/fax-format

Wiki guide to paperwork: baystation12.net/wiki/index.php/Guide_to_Paperwork