Post by bluesp34r on Jun 15, 2014 23:44:46 GMT
Welcome to medbay. Here, you will cure everyone of broken bones in the matter of seconds, while engaging in steamy lesbian sex in the psychiatrist's office in between operations. Don't forget to stutter.
Right, so let's get down to it. I see a lot of doctors, chemists, geneticists, etc. doing their jobs poorly. So, I decided I would put together another guide. This one for medical.
Your Medbay:
Your medbay has a lot of different rooms and functions. You have a reception/waiting room, where at LEAST ONE PERSON MUST STAY THERE AND WAIT AT ALL TIMES, a chem lab for the chemist to work, an operating room for surgery, a medical storage room, a big break room to relax in (Which you won't; medical is a hectic job.) a psychiatrist's office, a medical storage room to store the medicines, and a virology lab.
Today, you will learn how to use the tools you have here to be the most okay doctor in the galaxy.
First off,
What Every Doctor Knows:
Take note. I am not just referring to the doctor rank itself. Geneticists, Chemists, and maybe even the Psychiatrist knows these things. How to use a first aid kit, stop bleeding, how to read a medscanner's data, and what treatment does what. What medicines do what. I am tired of geneticists and chemists not doing these things when they are presented an injured man who is bleeding and refuse to patch him up, simply because it's not their field to do it. You work in medical. The difference between life and death is in your hands no matter what your job is.
Now, on to the actual jobs.
The Medical Doctor job has many different titles. They all mean you are a doctor, but a different kind of specialty.
Nurse:
Usually if you're newer to medbay, SS13, or you just want to be a pencil pusher. Nurses assist in doing things like moving the patient to and from the operating room to a patient's room, setting anesthetics, writing paperwork (If we ever get official paperwork codes...) and updating the records when someone dies or goes SSD. As a nurse, you should stay by the reception desk most of the time.
Medical Doctor:
A broad title, and the default. This is where it gets a bit interesting. Since most injuries that occur on the station require surgery, it is okay for your character to be an MD and know surgery (Maybe not ALL the surgeries, the more complicated ones/less needed can be omitted from your character's knowledge) However, when there's a person that needs to be treated without surgery, you take priority over the surgeons in treating him.
Emergency Response:
This one requires you to be on the move. When someone cries out for help, you run over to their location with a roller bed and you bring them back to medical. You know how to treat people to keep them alive. You might not be as trained as much as it takes to necessarily cure most conditions, but you're there to make sure they don't die. Don't be this unless you are quick to respond to situations.
Surgeon:
You are the expert in surgery, the treatment for 90% of all injures that occur on station! Keep in mind this is a specialty. You know how to do first aid and all that. It's just that you're really good at surgery, better than some.
Virologist:
While anyone can open virology regardless of which title they pick, virologist is usually the ONLY one who is supposed to be working in it. You are an expert in treating viruses and bacteria and other things like that. Don't pick if you sympathize with monkeys.
Please note that these titles are specialties AND playstyles. If you think you're better at surgery, pick surgeon. If you like treating people but don't like doing surgery, do regular MD. If you like to handle viruses, go Viro. If you like sitting at a desk in suggestively skimpy clothing, go nurse. Like responding to calls, go Emergency Phys. But remember that you are expected to treat people regardless of your chosen title when there's no one of that title to treat them.
Treating Symptoms:
Ask the patient what happened. They won't tell you sometimes due to the secretive nature of their activities or maybe they're just an asshole. If your scanner says they have brute damage, you gotta give them rolls of gauze. If it's burns, ointment. Aim for the affected limb with help intent to treat. If it's toxic, administer anti toxin to them. Please don't have harm intent on while you do this as it breaks the syringe and stabs them instantly. If you think they broke something, buckle them to a roller and take them to the advanced medical scanner. It will tell you which bones are broken, what organs are damaged, and all that in a very precise manner.
You have two sleepers and two cryo's. The Cryo's are meant for when people are severely injured. Do not use it for every little injury as you will piss off your CMO, your chemist, as you are wasting the finite contents of the beakers loaded inside. If it's something less severe, you use a sleeper. You can inject various medicines for free, without hassling your chemist. Be careful not to overdose.
Note that for viruses, you must keep that person contained. Take a blood sample (Once you are carefully protected) and insert the sample into the centrifuge in virology. This isn't a guide to the mechanics of how to use things, so I will have to refer you to the wiki on the process of creating a cure.
Medicines:
There are many medicines you must know how to use and what they do.
Anti-Toxin/Dyoveline: Treats Toxin damage.
Biciridine: Treats brute damage
Kelotane: Treats burn damage
Dermaline: Treats burn damage better than Kelotane. Kelotane is a joke. Anyone that doesn't go the extra mile to make their Kelotane into Dermaline is a joke. Always use this one instead.
Inaprovaline: Stabilizes the patient VERY IMPORTANT VERY USEFUL. Reduces blood loss, and prevents the patient's health from dropping below critical. Don't rely on it to save a life though. It's a temporary solution.
Tricorzidine: Treats all types of damage. Doesn't necessarily remove recurring toxin damage, which Anti-Toxin does. If the patient was given poison or something similar, use anti toxin, not this.
Tramadol: Pain medication. Doesn't actually do anything but when people are complaining of pain you need to give it to them. Mostly RP use.
Spaceacilin: Slows down the progression of a virus.
Alkysine: Treats brain damage from cloning. Essential. NOTICE: Liquid form does not work. This may be a glitch, but I found it not to work. Use pills to administer.
Other Medical Professions:
The chemist/pharmacist knows how to make the medicines listed above, and many more. Chemists should be making ALL of these medicines I just listed above as soon as the shift starts for them. You should make a 30 unit bottle of each and some pills of each. (Exceptions: Spaceacilin does not need pill forms. Alkysine does not need bottle forms)
You also have pill bottles to store your pills. A lot of people don't realize this, but you can plug you pill bottles into the ChemMaster and it automatically fills up the bottle with pills!
The way I make the pills is I take what's left over from the bottles and use the "make multiple pills" button to make 14 pills, filling up the pill bottle. This usually, for most medicines, gives me 4.56345435something units, which is fine. Some chemists like to have their pills in specific amounts but that's what I do because it's fast and easy.
Notice: Do not make servings of 10 units or higher for anything. Risk of overdose.
Notice: You are expected to upgrade the beakers for cryo to Cloneoxodone as soon as you finish the list above.
Notice: Your CMO may ask you make more medicines than above. Add those to the list. Obey their orders.
Geneticist:
Your purpose in the medical aspect is just to clone. You research powers, yes, but since this is a medical guide I'm teaching you how to do your job medically. You will need a dead body to clone (DON'T KILL PEOPLE JUST TO DO YOUR JOB OKAY?). Make sure that their head is attached to their body and they have a brain. Next, take off ALL THEIR CLOTHES. and put them in the DNA scanner. Scan their brain at least 30 times or until you successfullyfind a mental interface.
The reason for this is, sometimes, when someone dies, they will leave the game. If you try 30 scans and you don't get anything, chances are they left or don't want to be cloned. Toss them in the morgue. SSD Players cannot be cloned unless they did not ghost. When someone ghosts, they need some time to get back in their bodies before they can be cloned. So be patient when cloning someone. Don't forget to put them in Cryo's IMMEDIATELY and administer Alkysine.
Making a perfect clone:
Take the original dead body up to the DNA Modifier machine you subject your monkeys to. Make a SE and UI+UE buffers, take the enzymes, and inject both of them into the person, as a clone WILL ALWAYS BE DEFECTIVE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE A CLONE FRESHLY COME OUT JUST AS IT WAS. YOU NEED TO DO THIS BEFORE THEY KNOW THEY ARE A CLONE. Also, if they have robotic limbs, you gotta get the surgeon to remove whichever limb(s) it was and attach it with robotic ones. Harsh. But you gotta.
Psychiatrist:
Purely RP job. Don't take if you don't LOVE RP. Try to calm down insane individuals, make people feel not sad, and hit on that cute new medical girl until she gets in a relationship with you. You should know at least a bit of first aid.
Notes:
The Cryo's are not a simple machine. You do not turn them on like a switch. Even though it takes just a click, not everyone is supposed to know IC how to operate the machine.
Communicate. This is important.
Even if there's no CMO, you should be able to efficiently delegate tasks. I'll provide a simple chart on who does what.
Minor injury (scratch, slight toxic exposure): Nurse > MD > Surgeon > Virologist
Mild injury not requiring surgery: MD > Nurse > Surgeon > Virologist
Surgery required: Surgeon > MD > Nurse > Virologist
Bacteria, Virus, etc.: Virologist > MD > Nurse > Surgeon
Please note that Emergency Phys. are exceptions. They go on rescue missions. If the person is injured to a point where they can't go to medbay, the Emergency Phys. go to them. The other medical jobs are to only treat a patient if there's no active doctor title or if those that are active are occupied having steamy lesbian sex.
When giving dosages, try to give the least amount needed as possible. Do not over-dose your patients.
Anything greater than 20 units is going to hurt them severely. 15 units is borderline over-dose. Try to give them 10 at most. If they NEED more than that, wait a bit for the substance to get out of their system. If you were to use a scanner after you inject someone, it should say "Unknown substance detected in bloodstream" or similar. That's okay. It's referring to the medicine you just gave them. When it stops giving them that message, you can give them another dosage.
Practice the art of triage. Put patients in worse condition ahead of patients in lesser conditions, not necessarily "first come first serve".
Blood transfusions:
I think everybody knows how bloodtypes work. When a patient is low on blood, or is suffering from internal bleeding, use the medical records to see what their bloodtype is and treat that accordingly.
Clone Memory Disorder:
THIS IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT.
When a person is cloned. They experience short term memory loss. Their memories will come back to them eventually. Here's what you do when treating a clone.
Do not tell them died.
Do not let them see their body. Have all their clothes and such ready in a pile somewhere or in a locker as soon as their treatment is over.
Give them a story. Don't tell them they died. Say they were near-death but were saved. Common explanations are they hit their head and don't remember.
If the person has robotic limbs, get the surgeon or someone to replace their new organic ones with robotic ones or else THEY WILL KNOW.
If the person has an implant or something, extract it from their body and put it in them or else THEY WILL KNOW.
When some time has been given, you will need to break the news to them that they are cloned eventually. The psychiatrist is the best choice for this. Make sure they remain calm. Sugercoat it for them. Don't just be like "You died. We cloned you." Be more like "Well, we did all we could, but we weren't fast enough. I'm so sorry dear, things like this happen. But it's okay, you're given a second chance at life now. Isn't that great?" kind of talk. Remember. Give it some time before you tell them.
DO NOT TELL A CLONE THEY ARE A CLONE UNLESS YOU'RE BREAKING IT DOWN TO THEM. THEY CAN GO INSANE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT THEY HAVE DIED AS FINDING OUT THAT YOU DIED IS A VERY SHOCKING EXPERIENCE. THEY MAY GO INSANE AND BECOME A THREAT TO THE CREW. YOU CAN BE FIRED INSTANTLY, NO MATTER HOW SKILLED A DOCTOR YOU ARE IF YOU BREAK THIS SIMPLE RULE. I'm sorry but that's just so fucking important that you don't break it.
Medical is a very important job. You are the barrier between life and death. You don't even need to be a skilled doctor to save lives. An okay-ish doctor can take someone who is in critical condition to full health in minutes. Refer to the baystation 12 wiki on identifying symptoms such as internal bleeding that need to be treated fast.
Right, so let's get down to it. I see a lot of doctors, chemists, geneticists, etc. doing their jobs poorly. So, I decided I would put together another guide. This one for medical.
Your Medbay:
Your medbay has a lot of different rooms and functions. You have a reception/waiting room, where at LEAST ONE PERSON MUST STAY THERE AND WAIT AT ALL TIMES, a chem lab for the chemist to work, an operating room for surgery, a medical storage room, a big break room to relax in (Which you won't; medical is a hectic job.) a psychiatrist's office, a medical storage room to store the medicines, and a virology lab.
Today, you will learn how to use the tools you have here to be the most okay doctor in the galaxy.
First off,
What Every Doctor Knows:
Take note. I am not just referring to the doctor rank itself. Geneticists, Chemists, and maybe even the Psychiatrist knows these things. How to use a first aid kit, stop bleeding, how to read a medscanner's data, and what treatment does what. What medicines do what. I am tired of geneticists and chemists not doing these things when they are presented an injured man who is bleeding and refuse to patch him up, simply because it's not their field to do it. You work in medical. The difference between life and death is in your hands no matter what your job is.
Now, on to the actual jobs.
The Medical Doctor job has many different titles. They all mean you are a doctor, but a different kind of specialty.
Nurse:
Usually if you're newer to medbay, SS13, or you just want to be a pencil pusher. Nurses assist in doing things like moving the patient to and from the operating room to a patient's room, setting anesthetics, writing paperwork (If we ever get official paperwork codes...) and updating the records when someone dies or goes SSD. As a nurse, you should stay by the reception desk most of the time.
Medical Doctor:
A broad title, and the default. This is where it gets a bit interesting. Since most injuries that occur on the station require surgery, it is okay for your character to be an MD and know surgery (Maybe not ALL the surgeries, the more complicated ones/less needed can be omitted from your character's knowledge) However, when there's a person that needs to be treated without surgery, you take priority over the surgeons in treating him.
Emergency Response:
This one requires you to be on the move. When someone cries out for help, you run over to their location with a roller bed and you bring them back to medical. You know how to treat people to keep them alive. You might not be as trained as much as it takes to necessarily cure most conditions, but you're there to make sure they don't die. Don't be this unless you are quick to respond to situations.
Surgeon:
You are the expert in surgery, the treatment for 90% of all injures that occur on station! Keep in mind this is a specialty. You know how to do first aid and all that. It's just that you're really good at surgery, better than some.
Virologist:
While anyone can open virology regardless of which title they pick, virologist is usually the ONLY one who is supposed to be working in it. You are an expert in treating viruses and bacteria and other things like that. Don't pick if you sympathize with monkeys.
Please note that these titles are specialties AND playstyles. If you think you're better at surgery, pick surgeon. If you like treating people but don't like doing surgery, do regular MD. If you like to handle viruses, go Viro. If you like sitting at a desk in suggestively skimpy clothing, go nurse. Like responding to calls, go Emergency Phys. But remember that you are expected to treat people regardless of your chosen title when there's no one of that title to treat them.
Treating Symptoms:
Ask the patient what happened. They won't tell you sometimes due to the secretive nature of their activities or maybe they're just an asshole. If your scanner says they have brute damage, you gotta give them rolls of gauze. If it's burns, ointment. Aim for the affected limb with help intent to treat. If it's toxic, administer anti toxin to them. Please don't have harm intent on while you do this as it breaks the syringe and stabs them instantly. If you think they broke something, buckle them to a roller and take them to the advanced medical scanner. It will tell you which bones are broken, what organs are damaged, and all that in a very precise manner.
You have two sleepers and two cryo's. The Cryo's are meant for when people are severely injured. Do not use it for every little injury as you will piss off your CMO, your chemist, as you are wasting the finite contents of the beakers loaded inside. If it's something less severe, you use a sleeper. You can inject various medicines for free, without hassling your chemist. Be careful not to overdose.
Note that for viruses, you must keep that person contained. Take a blood sample (Once you are carefully protected) and insert the sample into the centrifuge in virology. This isn't a guide to the mechanics of how to use things, so I will have to refer you to the wiki on the process of creating a cure.
Medicines:
There are many medicines you must know how to use and what they do.
Anti-Toxin/Dyoveline: Treats Toxin damage.
Biciridine: Treats brute damage
Kelotane: Treats burn damage
Dermaline: Treats burn damage better than Kelotane. Kelotane is a joke. Anyone that doesn't go the extra mile to make their Kelotane into Dermaline is a joke. Always use this one instead.
Inaprovaline: Stabilizes the patient VERY IMPORTANT VERY USEFUL. Reduces blood loss, and prevents the patient's health from dropping below critical. Don't rely on it to save a life though. It's a temporary solution.
Tricorzidine: Treats all types of damage. Doesn't necessarily remove recurring toxin damage, which Anti-Toxin does. If the patient was given poison or something similar, use anti toxin, not this.
Tramadol: Pain medication. Doesn't actually do anything but when people are complaining of pain you need to give it to them. Mostly RP use.
Spaceacilin: Slows down the progression of a virus.
Alkysine: Treats brain damage from cloning. Essential. NOTICE: Liquid form does not work. This may be a glitch, but I found it not to work. Use pills to administer.
Other Medical Professions:
The chemist/pharmacist knows how to make the medicines listed above, and many more. Chemists should be making ALL of these medicines I just listed above as soon as the shift starts for them. You should make a 30 unit bottle of each and some pills of each. (Exceptions: Spaceacilin does not need pill forms. Alkysine does not need bottle forms)
You also have pill bottles to store your pills. A lot of people don't realize this, but you can plug you pill bottles into the ChemMaster and it automatically fills up the bottle with pills!
The way I make the pills is I take what's left over from the bottles and use the "make multiple pills" button to make 14 pills, filling up the pill bottle. This usually, for most medicines, gives me 4.56345435something units, which is fine. Some chemists like to have their pills in specific amounts but that's what I do because it's fast and easy.
Notice: Do not make servings of 10 units or higher for anything. Risk of overdose.
Notice: You are expected to upgrade the beakers for cryo to Cloneoxodone as soon as you finish the list above.
Notice: Your CMO may ask you make more medicines than above. Add those to the list. Obey their orders.
Geneticist:
Your purpose in the medical aspect is just to clone. You research powers, yes, but since this is a medical guide I'm teaching you how to do your job medically. You will need a dead body to clone (DON'T KILL PEOPLE JUST TO DO YOUR JOB OKAY?). Make sure that their head is attached to their body and they have a brain. Next, take off ALL THEIR CLOTHES. and put them in the DNA scanner. Scan their brain at least 30 times or until you successfullyfind a mental interface.
The reason for this is, sometimes, when someone dies, they will leave the game. If you try 30 scans and you don't get anything, chances are they left or don't want to be cloned. Toss them in the morgue. SSD Players cannot be cloned unless they did not ghost. When someone ghosts, they need some time to get back in their bodies before they can be cloned. So be patient when cloning someone. Don't forget to put them in Cryo's IMMEDIATELY and administer Alkysine.
Making a perfect clone:
Take the original dead body up to the DNA Modifier machine you subject your monkeys to. Make a SE and UI+UE buffers, take the enzymes, and inject both of them into the person, as a clone WILL ALWAYS BE DEFECTIVE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE A CLONE FRESHLY COME OUT JUST AS IT WAS. YOU NEED TO DO THIS BEFORE THEY KNOW THEY ARE A CLONE. Also, if they have robotic limbs, you gotta get the surgeon to remove whichever limb(s) it was and attach it with robotic ones. Harsh. But you gotta.
Psychiatrist:
Purely RP job. Don't take if you don't LOVE RP. Try to calm down insane individuals, make people feel not sad, and hit on that cute new medical girl until she gets in a relationship with you. You should know at least a bit of first aid.
Notes:
The Cryo's are not a simple machine. You do not turn them on like a switch. Even though it takes just a click, not everyone is supposed to know IC how to operate the machine.
Communicate. This is important.
Even if there's no CMO, you should be able to efficiently delegate tasks. I'll provide a simple chart on who does what.
Minor injury (scratch, slight toxic exposure): Nurse > MD > Surgeon > Virologist
Mild injury not requiring surgery: MD > Nurse > Surgeon > Virologist
Surgery required: Surgeon > MD > Nurse > Virologist
Bacteria, Virus, etc.: Virologist > MD > Nurse > Surgeon
Please note that Emergency Phys. are exceptions. They go on rescue missions. If the person is injured to a point where they can't go to medbay, the Emergency Phys. go to them. The other medical jobs are to only treat a patient if there's no active doctor title or if those that are active are occupied having steamy lesbian sex.
When giving dosages, try to give the least amount needed as possible. Do not over-dose your patients.
Anything greater than 20 units is going to hurt them severely. 15 units is borderline over-dose. Try to give them 10 at most. If they NEED more than that, wait a bit for the substance to get out of their system. If you were to use a scanner after you inject someone, it should say "Unknown substance detected in bloodstream" or similar. That's okay. It's referring to the medicine you just gave them. When it stops giving them that message, you can give them another dosage.
Practice the art of triage. Put patients in worse condition ahead of patients in lesser conditions, not necessarily "first come first serve".
Blood transfusions:
I think everybody knows how bloodtypes work. When a patient is low on blood, or is suffering from internal bleeding, use the medical records to see what their bloodtype is and treat that accordingly.
Clone Memory Disorder:
THIS IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT.
When a person is cloned. They experience short term memory loss. Their memories will come back to them eventually. Here's what you do when treating a clone.
Do not tell them died.
Do not let them see their body. Have all their clothes and such ready in a pile somewhere or in a locker as soon as their treatment is over.
Give them a story. Don't tell them they died. Say they were near-death but were saved. Common explanations are they hit their head and don't remember.
If the person has robotic limbs, get the surgeon or someone to replace their new organic ones with robotic ones or else THEY WILL KNOW.
If the person has an implant or something, extract it from their body and put it in them or else THEY WILL KNOW.
When some time has been given, you will need to break the news to them that they are cloned eventually. The psychiatrist is the best choice for this. Make sure they remain calm. Sugercoat it for them. Don't just be like "You died. We cloned you." Be more like "Well, we did all we could, but we weren't fast enough. I'm so sorry dear, things like this happen. But it's okay, you're given a second chance at life now. Isn't that great?" kind of talk. Remember. Give it some time before you tell them.
DO NOT TELL A CLONE THEY ARE A CLONE UNLESS YOU'RE BREAKING IT DOWN TO THEM. THEY CAN GO INSANE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT THEY HAVE DIED AS FINDING OUT THAT YOU DIED IS A VERY SHOCKING EXPERIENCE. THEY MAY GO INSANE AND BECOME A THREAT TO THE CREW. YOU CAN BE FIRED INSTANTLY, NO MATTER HOW SKILLED A DOCTOR YOU ARE IF YOU BREAK THIS SIMPLE RULE. I'm sorry but that's just so fucking important that you don't break it.
Medical is a very important job. You are the barrier between life and death. You don't even need to be a skilled doctor to save lives. An okay-ish doctor can take someone who is in critical condition to full health in minutes. Refer to the baystation 12 wiki on identifying symptoms such as internal bleeding that need to be treated fast.
We all knew this is coming.
