Post by Rusty Shackleford on May 29, 2014 20:40:07 GMT
I've had it up to HERE with shitty antags. You all know what they look like. They spawn a parapen, an emag and an esword, then proceed to knock people out, drag them to the tunnels, and chop their heads off, all without speaking a goddamn word. Therefore, I'm going to begin compiling a list here of creative ways to accomplish antag objectives without resorting to the cliche KO/drag/decapitate formula. I will divide it into sections, and include ways that maximize RP and involvement with other characters while minimizing gank and murderboning. Shit will be added as time goes along.
ASSASSINATIONS
> Poison Food/Drink - Invite someone to have a meal with you, and put slow working poisons in the food. Bonus points if you don't put lethal toxins in the food, and instead put them to sleep for a while, so you can have fun with their helpless bodies (not in that way... okay, maybe in that way). Roofies and such also count under this.
> Torture - The good ol' tried and true method of ensuring that someone won't start yelling "GANK GANK GANK" over the adminhelps and in deadchat. There's a whole bunch of shit you can do that can count as torture. Hell, this one deserves a sublist.
> FRICKIN' LASER BEAMS - If you can frame your target, you can possibly get them executed via laser beam firing squad. Or you can strap them to a chair and set up an emitter in front of them, and laugh maniacally as they are vaporized by the power of your evil!
> Gentlemanly Dueling - I've only seen one case of anyone actually dueling their target. It involves getting a hold of a toy sword, and an esword, and then challenging them to a 'fake' duel in a disused area of the station. Or a cap gun and a revolver, if you wish for more range on the target. While not the most subtle way, it sure is fun.
> Garbage Disposal - Mind you, when I talk about using disposals as an assassination tool, I'm not talking about parapenning and them shoving them into the nearest unit. This would be best used after a (mostly) non-lethal torture session. Major fucking props if you say, "Time to take out the trash" before tossing them.
> Your Head Asplode - If you're a surgeon, and your target needs surgery, put an explosive implant in their head, then face off against them in a public place. Bonus points if the trigger phrase is a fitting Bond one-liner.
> Holodeck - The emagged holodeck is one of the deadliest tools known to SS13. You have two delightfully deadly options: the Wildlife Simulation, and the Atmospheric Burn Simulation. Whether you prefer your target as carp food or deep fried, is up to you. Unless you like deep fried carp food. The best, and in my opinion, most fun method for AI assassins.
> The AI did it, not me! - Speaking of AI assassins, getting the AI to be an unwitting one is an awesome way of taking out a target! Do something to get the AI to set their turrets to lethal (method is up to the player) and then toss the target into the AI chambers and watch as they are turned into swiss cheese!
> BORK BORK BORK - While simply shoving someone in a gibber is considered gank, if you perform a little bit of torture beforehand and then turn them into tasty burgers which you then eat and feed to other crewmembers is perfectly fine. Or you could call someone and say it's broken, and when they try to fix it, give them a little shove. It's like shoving Paris Hilton into a wood chipper.
> Monkey see, Monkey do - Transform into a monkey, act like a cute little primate to gain their trust, and then when their back is turned RIP OUT THEIR THROAT WITH YOUR PRIMAL FURY... or shoot a poison dart into their neck. Either way works.
> Circus Circus! - Tie someone up and throw knives at them! Or dress them up as a clown and stomp them with a Gygax in the name of THE LAW!
> Telefrag - Use the wonders of telescience to send them into deep space, or maybe into the open maws of a space carp!
> BDSM - Nothing is more fun than wrapping someone up in a straitjacket, then blindfolding and muzzling them before getting naked and whipping them with a cable coil while you monologue about how mommy and daddy didn't love you or how they got the promotion instead of you. Or maybe that's just me.
> Spess Unabomber - Wrap up a low-yield bomb and send it to your target through cargo! Won't they be surprised to find that that small parcel was in fact a tank transfer valve with a signaller attached! Bonus points if you write "Do Not Open Until Christmas" on it.
THEFT
> Hire a random assistant - Certainly a much better choice than just emagging your way into the captain's office yourself to steal his laser gun. It also gives you a use for all those credits in your bank account. It's fun to watch the all the creative ways grey tide come up with to cause chaos and steal things. You know, unless they just get some budget gloves and hack their way in there. Still, the blame is on them instead of you.
> Super Stealth Mode - Use a chameleon projector to gain access to anywhere! Just follow in the footsteps of the most oblivious person with the most access! Make sure that whatever you're disguised as isn't too conspicuous. Though if you do manage to maintain stealth while disguised as a living emergency locker, you deserve all the bonus points.
> THE WONDERS OF SCIENCE - Telescience is perhaps the best method of stealthily stealing an item from a secure location. So long as you don't send yourself into space or into the lap of a waiting security officer.
> Hostage Situation - Just like Die Hard! In SPACE! Take hostages and use them to get whatever you want. Just make sure you're well secured against John Rambo, Security Officer. Bonus points if you get them to call the shuttle and let just you and your hostage leave on it.
CONSPIRACY
> FITE ME IRL - Get yourself and your target in a room, drop an uplink spawned weapon on the ground, and attack him with your trusty crowbar instead! If you calculate it correctly, your target will take the item and use it to defend themselves, allowing you to call security and scream about he's cutting your arm off with a lightsaber! Painful, but effective! Be sure to use gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints.
> Thief - Rather complicated, but beautiful when it all works out. Steal something shiny, cause some chaos, and then be sure your target is the first person to lay bare fingers on the object you stole, and for good measure put gloves like the ones you used in their office! Be sure to use gloves while handling gloves! (YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE GLOVES)
> SSD - Your framing target is SSD? No problem! Instead of dragging them into security yourself, put some high value item into their grubby little mitts, then call security on their unconscious ass! Clean and efficient.
ESCAPISM
> Stroll onto the shuttle like you own the fucking thing - Self-explanatory.
> Hitch a ride, outside! - There's a little portion of space in front of the escape shuttle that moves along with it to the CentComm z-level. If you can find the sweet spot, you can laugh your ass all the way back to Central as the heads of staff panic at the sight of hardsuited fellow travelling at FTL speeds in front of them. Yuk it up, fuckers.
OTHER ANTAGS (BESIDES TRAITORS)
CHANGELINGS
Woo boy, if I had a nickel for every time I saw a changeling use the paralyze toxin/drag into tunnels/suck out their juices formula, I would be able to by my own robot army and the entire would would be united under the banner of Rusty and everyone would be my sex slave and I'd make a law that would require everyone to wear latex suits at all times and everyone everywhere would be required to engage in horrible sexual acts in public as they pledge their allegiance to Rusty.
But I digress.
Changelings have a whole slew of awesome little powers that can be used to fuck with people. They can mimick voices, steal someone's appearance without killing them, and give people horrible hallucinations. A combination of all three is preferable, because nobody will notice when someone's identical twin sucks the juices out of them while they are all suffering from horrible hallucinations about giant spiders and their mother dressed in a dominiatrix outfit, whipping their father while he's butt nekkid and tied to the bed.
NUCLEAR OPERATIVES
They usually take the form of either uberstealthy operatives who give no sign that they were even there until the nuke explodes and kills everyone (shitty because there's absolutely no fucking RP involved), or psychopaths stroking their fully erect murderboners while they shoot everyone and everything in the face without saying so much as "How do you do!" (shitty because murderboners lead to banhammer boners).
Better nuke ops are cautious, but do things like taking hostages. Mind you, not in the generic burst-into-the-office-and-zip-tie-everyone way, but rather doing things like catching people who have their pants down, either because they were on the shitter, or because they were about to diddle each other in the maintenance tunnels. Good nuke ops do things like make their hostages do sexy dances for them, and give them their bank account details before releasing them and then hunting them down like you would foxes or deer. THE HUNT IS ON, MY DEAR BOY!
Even better nuke ops disguise themselves as crewmembers that have been taken as hostages, and if the others are defeated by John Rambo and Co., they can recollect the gear they left hidden elsewhere and free their compatriots to begin anew!
VOX
SQUAWK SQUAWK, MOTHERFUCKERS! Basically, annoy the shit out of everyone. Offer to haggle for things, then make the terms nonsensical. "We will take 100 metal, for three cat livers! Three cat livers and a chicken penis, final offer! Squawk!"
Offer sexual favors, and make the terms of the sex very... strange. "You want me to stick my it WHERE?"
On the flip side, you can be a refined and cultures specimen that speaks with a posh British accent. "I do say, my fellow feathered compatriot, that very much sounds like an excellent plot. Squawk, indeed."
CULTISTS
Everybody loves a sex cult!
If you're one of the soulless automatons that doesn't enjoy a good sex cult, then I suppose you could use one of the various methods of torture described above (non-lethal versions, of course) to break the minds and spirits of potential recruits. Make sure that they end up completely schizophrenic by the end of it!
WIZARDS
If you're creative, you can think of a few things to do with that staff of yours... it's so... smooth... looooong... sensuous... *moans*
Ahem... once again, I digress.
Nobody likes friendly wizards. They're complete bullshit and usually end up in space without a teleport scroll or an oxygen tank at the end of a round. Instead, be the most freaky, stuck-up, cocky, assholeish motherfucker in the galaxy. Everyone loves to hate a villain. Be that villain. Kick puppies and babies indiscriminately. Let Bond villain lines spew endlessly from your lips. Be evil Gandalf and shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" at everyone you shoot magic missiles at.
XENOMORPHS
God gave you that scythe-like tail for a reason. It's not for slashing, it's for caressing your victims before you give them a live-action reenactment of the Lusty Xenomorph.
Here, it's not just about RPing with the humans. RP withing your own ranks, developing little quirks and relationships. After all, xenos are people too. Albeit large, unearthly looking people with heads shaped like phalluses.
REVOLUTIONARIES
Viva la revoluccion!
Whether you're Che Guevara or Martin Luther King Jr., revs need to create RP like any other antagonist. Only they can have some real fun with it. Capture the heads of staff and burn the at the stake like witches! Or parade around the station with picket signs reading "DOWN WITH THIS KIND OF THING". Make people sympathetic to your cause, or strap them to a chair and torture them until they see the advantages of joining you and your glorious revolution! Be Josef Stalin, Fidel Castro, and Kim Jong Il rolled into one ungodly package! Declare the station as the sovereign nation of Space Korea, and declare it to be the best Korea! Or Space Cuba, and change your name to Cuban Pete, Glorious Dictator of Aurora! Contact the New Marx Republic and offer up human sacrifices to Nar'Sie! The only limits on you are on what you can make your mindless acolytes believe!
Okay, whether you've read the entire thing or you've skipped to the bottom, I will make sure that none of you will be able to miss this last part.
ANTAGGING IS A RESPONSIBILITY. IT IS YOUR JOB TO FOSTER EXCELLENT, MEMORABLE ROLEPLAYING. IT IS NOT SO YOU CAN GET SOME FANCY LITTLE GREEN MESSAGE AT THE END OF A ROUND CONGRATULATING YOU FOR BEING A GANKING DICKWAD. IF YOU DON'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY, DO NOT ENABLE ANTAG IN THE SETUP SCREEN OPTIONS.
ASSASSINATIONS
> Poison Food/Drink - Invite someone to have a meal with you, and put slow working poisons in the food. Bonus points if you don't put lethal toxins in the food, and instead put them to sleep for a while, so you can have fun with their helpless bodies (not in that way... okay, maybe in that way). Roofies and such also count under this.
> Torture - The good ol' tried and true method of ensuring that someone won't start yelling "GANK GANK GANK" over the adminhelps and in deadchat. There's a whole bunch of shit you can do that can count as torture. Hell, this one deserves a sublist.
- Psychological Torture - Get into someone's head, make them do things for you. Maybe even get them to off themselves. Difficult, but if you can pull it off, it's some pretty awesome RP.
- Trivial Pursuit - Tie them to a chair and then play a game of trivial pursuit with your hapless victim. Every time they get a question wrong, they lose a finger! Fun for the whole family!
- Hannibal Lecter - Strap 'em to the operating table, cut out their appendix, and then make them eat it! Mmmmm, malicious.
- Shock Therapy - Immobilize them, and put an electropack on their head (if that still works). Shock them to your heart's content. Or until their heart explodes.
- Drug Mule - The inverse of Hannibal Lecter style torture, this one involves you cutting them open to put random shit inside! Remember, no anesthesia! Bonus points if the random crap is actually drugs.
- ME ME ME ME ME - There's all sorts of shit you could do if you just made heavy use of the 'me' command. Probably only works if the other person is actually a good RPer, though.
- Highlander - There can only be one. If you catch two people and bring them back to your lair, you can force your target to watch while you torture the other hapless sap! Bonus points if the people are ones who care about each other.
- Waterboarding - If it's good enough for the US government, it's good enough for you! Drag them to the toilets and shove their face into the water. Or just smash their head in against the porcelain.
- I HAVE NO MOUTH YET I MUST SCREAM - Use mutagen or regular SE injectors to turn them into a horrible, horrible genetic experiment gone wrong!
- Hold this, ignore the ticking - Either leave them in the same room with a bomb or surgically implant one into them, then taunt them with Bond villain quips as you wait for that inevitable bang. Bonus points if you cut off their hands and encased them in a little room made of reinforced plasma glass so you can watch them scream.
- Foot and Mouth - Someone asks to be let go, cut off their feet and open the door, then laugh as they try to drag themselves and their useless legs away.
- Give them a hand - Cut off their hands and then leave them in a room with an airlock! How delightfully evil!
- Breath of fresh air - It's simple. Strap to chair, grab a full oxygen tank with a breath mask, and set the pressure all the way up. Lungs will pop like balloons.
- Bloody Murder - One of the most unused (yet stealthy) ways to be used to kill someone. Immobilize them, then hook them up to an IV drip with the wrong bloodtype slowly dripping into their veins! The body rejects blood that does not have the same antigens, killing the poor sod. Slowly. Painfully. Alternately, drain them of all their blood using empty bloodpacks and the other mode on the IV drip! Talk about having the life sucked out of you.
> FRICKIN' LASER BEAMS - If you can frame your target, you can possibly get them executed via laser beam firing squad. Or you can strap them to a chair and set up an emitter in front of them, and laugh maniacally as they are vaporized by the power of your evil!
> Gentlemanly Dueling - I've only seen one case of anyone actually dueling their target. It involves getting a hold of a toy sword, and an esword, and then challenging them to a 'fake' duel in a disused area of the station. Or a cap gun and a revolver, if you wish for more range on the target. While not the most subtle way, it sure is fun.
> Garbage Disposal - Mind you, when I talk about using disposals as an assassination tool, I'm not talking about parapenning and them shoving them into the nearest unit. This would be best used after a (mostly) non-lethal torture session. Major fucking props if you say, "Time to take out the trash" before tossing them.
> Your Head Asplode - If you're a surgeon, and your target needs surgery, put an explosive implant in their head, then face off against them in a public place. Bonus points if the trigger phrase is a fitting Bond one-liner.
> Holodeck - The emagged holodeck is one of the deadliest tools known to SS13. You have two delightfully deadly options: the Wildlife Simulation, and the Atmospheric Burn Simulation. Whether you prefer your target as carp food or deep fried, is up to you. Unless you like deep fried carp food. The best, and in my opinion, most fun method for AI assassins.
> The AI did it, not me! - Speaking of AI assassins, getting the AI to be an unwitting one is an awesome way of taking out a target! Do something to get the AI to set their turrets to lethal (method is up to the player) and then toss the target into the AI chambers and watch as they are turned into swiss cheese!
> BORK BORK BORK - While simply shoving someone in a gibber is considered gank, if you perform a little bit of torture beforehand and then turn them into tasty burgers which you then eat and feed to other crewmembers is perfectly fine. Or you could call someone and say it's broken, and when they try to fix it, give them a little shove. It's like shoving Paris Hilton into a wood chipper.
> Monkey see, Monkey do - Transform into a monkey, act like a cute little primate to gain their trust, and then when their back is turned RIP OUT THEIR THROAT WITH YOUR PRIMAL FURY... or shoot a poison dart into their neck. Either way works.
> Circus Circus! - Tie someone up and throw knives at them! Or dress them up as a clown and stomp them with a Gygax in the name of THE LAW!
> Telefrag - Use the wonders of telescience to send them into deep space, or maybe into the open maws of a space carp!
> BDSM - Nothing is more fun than wrapping someone up in a straitjacket, then blindfolding and muzzling them before getting naked and whipping them with a cable coil while you monologue about how mommy and daddy didn't love you or how they got the promotion instead of you. Or maybe that's just me.
> Spess Unabomber - Wrap up a low-yield bomb and send it to your target through cargo! Won't they be surprised to find that that small parcel was in fact a tank transfer valve with a signaller attached! Bonus points if you write "Do Not Open Until Christmas" on it.
THEFT
> Hire a random assistant - Certainly a much better choice than just emagging your way into the captain's office yourself to steal his laser gun. It also gives you a use for all those credits in your bank account. It's fun to watch the all the creative ways grey tide come up with to cause chaos and steal things. You know, unless they just get some budget gloves and hack their way in there. Still, the blame is on them instead of you.
> Super Stealth Mode - Use a chameleon projector to gain access to anywhere! Just follow in the footsteps of the most oblivious person with the most access! Make sure that whatever you're disguised as isn't too conspicuous. Though if you do manage to maintain stealth while disguised as a living emergency locker, you deserve all the bonus points.
> THE WONDERS OF SCIENCE - Telescience is perhaps the best method of stealthily stealing an item from a secure location. So long as you don't send yourself into space or into the lap of a waiting security officer.
> Hostage Situation - Just like Die Hard! In SPACE! Take hostages and use them to get whatever you want. Just make sure you're well secured against John Rambo, Security Officer. Bonus points if you get them to call the shuttle and let just you and your hostage leave on it.
CONSPIRACY
> FITE ME IRL - Get yourself and your target in a room, drop an uplink spawned weapon on the ground, and attack him with your trusty crowbar instead! If you calculate it correctly, your target will take the item and use it to defend themselves, allowing you to call security and scream about he's cutting your arm off with a lightsaber! Painful, but effective! Be sure to use gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints.
> Thief - Rather complicated, but beautiful when it all works out. Steal something shiny, cause some chaos, and then be sure your target is the first person to lay bare fingers on the object you stole, and for good measure put gloves like the ones you used in their office! Be sure to use gloves while handling gloves! (YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE GLOVES)
> SSD - Your framing target is SSD? No problem! Instead of dragging them into security yourself, put some high value item into their grubby little mitts, then call security on their unconscious ass! Clean and efficient.
ESCAPISM
> Stroll onto the shuttle like you own the fucking thing - Self-explanatory.
> Hitch a ride, outside! - There's a little portion of space in front of the escape shuttle that moves along with it to the CentComm z-level. If you can find the sweet spot, you can laugh your ass all the way back to Central as the heads of staff panic at the sight of hardsuited fellow travelling at FTL speeds in front of them. Yuk it up, fuckers.
OTHER ANTAGS (BESIDES TRAITORS)
CHANGELINGS
Woo boy, if I had a nickel for every time I saw a changeling use the paralyze toxin/drag into tunnels/suck out their juices formula, I would be able to by my own robot army and the entire would would be united under the banner of Rusty and everyone would be my sex slave and I'd make a law that would require everyone to wear latex suits at all times and everyone everywhere would be required to engage in horrible sexual acts in public as they pledge their allegiance to Rusty.
But I digress.
Changelings have a whole slew of awesome little powers that can be used to fuck with people. They can mimick voices, steal someone's appearance without killing them, and give people horrible hallucinations. A combination of all three is preferable, because nobody will notice when someone's identical twin sucks the juices out of them while they are all suffering from horrible hallucinations about giant spiders and their mother dressed in a dominiatrix outfit, whipping their father while he's butt nekkid and tied to the bed.
NUCLEAR OPERATIVES
They usually take the form of either uberstealthy operatives who give no sign that they were even there until the nuke explodes and kills everyone (shitty because there's absolutely no fucking RP involved), or psychopaths stroking their fully erect murderboners while they shoot everyone and everything in the face without saying so much as "How do you do!" (shitty because murderboners lead to banhammer boners).
Better nuke ops are cautious, but do things like taking hostages. Mind you, not in the generic burst-into-the-office-and-zip-tie-everyone way, but rather doing things like catching people who have their pants down, either because they were on the shitter, or because they were about to diddle each other in the maintenance tunnels. Good nuke ops do things like make their hostages do sexy dances for them, and give them their bank account details before releasing them and then hunting them down like you would foxes or deer. THE HUNT IS ON, MY DEAR BOY!
Even better nuke ops disguise themselves as crewmembers that have been taken as hostages, and if the others are defeated by John Rambo and Co., they can recollect the gear they left hidden elsewhere and free their compatriots to begin anew!
VOX
SQUAWK SQUAWK, MOTHERFUCKERS! Basically, annoy the shit out of everyone. Offer to haggle for things, then make the terms nonsensical. "We will take 100 metal, for three cat livers! Three cat livers and a chicken penis, final offer! Squawk!"
Offer sexual favors, and make the terms of the sex very... strange. "You want me to stick my it WHERE?"
On the flip side, you can be a refined and cultures specimen that speaks with a posh British accent. "I do say, my fellow feathered compatriot, that very much sounds like an excellent plot. Squawk, indeed."
CULTISTS
Everybody loves a sex cult!
If you're one of the soulless automatons that doesn't enjoy a good sex cult, then I suppose you could use one of the various methods of torture described above (non-lethal versions, of course) to break the minds and spirits of potential recruits. Make sure that they end up completely schizophrenic by the end of it!
WIZARDS
If you're creative, you can think of a few things to do with that staff of yours... it's so... smooth... looooong... sensuous... *moans*
Ahem... once again, I digress.
Nobody likes friendly wizards. They're complete bullshit and usually end up in space without a teleport scroll or an oxygen tank at the end of a round. Instead, be the most freaky, stuck-up, cocky, assholeish motherfucker in the galaxy. Everyone loves to hate a villain. Be that villain. Kick puppies and babies indiscriminately. Let Bond villain lines spew endlessly from your lips. Be evil Gandalf and shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" at everyone you shoot magic missiles at.
XENOMORPHS
God gave you that scythe-like tail for a reason. It's not for slashing, it's for caressing your victims before you give them a live-action reenactment of the Lusty Xenomorph.
Here, it's not just about RPing with the humans. RP withing your own ranks, developing little quirks and relationships. After all, xenos are people too. Albeit large, unearthly looking people with heads shaped like phalluses.
REVOLUTIONARIES
Viva la revoluccion!
Whether you're Che Guevara or Martin Luther King Jr., revs need to create RP like any other antagonist. Only they can have some real fun with it. Capture the heads of staff and burn the at the stake like witches! Or parade around the station with picket signs reading "DOWN WITH THIS KIND OF THING". Make people sympathetic to your cause, or strap them to a chair and torture them until they see the advantages of joining you and your glorious revolution! Be Josef Stalin, Fidel Castro, and Kim Jong Il rolled into one ungodly package! Declare the station as the sovereign nation of Space Korea, and declare it to be the best Korea! Or Space Cuba, and change your name to Cuban Pete, Glorious Dictator of Aurora! Contact the New Marx Republic and offer up human sacrifices to Nar'Sie! The only limits on you are on what you can make your mindless acolytes believe!
Okay, whether you've read the entire thing or you've skipped to the bottom, I will make sure that none of you will be able to miss this last part.
ANTAGGING IS A RESPONSIBILITY. IT IS YOUR JOB TO FOSTER EXCELLENT, MEMORABLE ROLEPLAYING. IT IS NOT SO YOU CAN GET SOME FANCY LITTLE GREEN MESSAGE AT THE END OF A ROUND CONGRATULATING YOU FOR BEING A GANKING DICKWAD. IF YOU DON'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY, DO NOT ENABLE ANTAG IN THE SETUP SCREEN OPTIONS.
We all knew this is coming.
